December 18, 2009

I wake up at 6 am and go into the office and fire up my work computer. I normally don't work on Fridays, but since Bailee was sick last week I needed to work everyday this week to make up.

I read my email and checked if anyone has blogged. I went got in the shower, talk to Jim about last night since we didn't get to talk last night, and see what he had going on today.

I get ready, get Bailee up. I was trying to get her dressed, and I reached for something and fell off the bed. I yelled for Jim and Bailee starts to cry. I am on the floor laughing and Jim is trying to figure out what is going on. I told him and asked him to get Bailee a sippy cup. Well he couldn't find one that we normally use. So he gives her one with this straw, needless to say Bailee and I don't like it. I am upset because she has 4 sippy cups and I can't find one of them!

I get to the light and realized I don't have my cell phone! I have to have my cell because it is the only place that has my work number to clock in. I drop Bailee off, and go back home. I walk in my house and realized what a freakin' pig sty. I can't find my phone. I asked Jim to call it and it is in our room. I walk in there and see all the laundry that hasn't been done, clothes on the floor that Jim needs to go threw and a bathroom that hasn't been cleaned in a month. I walk out and say to my self "You need to stay home and clean!" But I can't because I need to catch up on work even though I still have 2 weeks to complete 4 stores.

I get back in the car and I have to go get gas. Yes I asked Jim to do this for me last night, but "he forgot". I am pumping gas and realize that if I do go to work I wouldn't be doing a good job because I will be obsessing over my dirty, disorganize and disgusting house. I go pay for the gas inside because I need a diet coke. Get back in my car. And I go home.

I get home and I have accomplished so much and it is not even noon.

To Do List:

Laundry

re-organize and clean Bailee's room

clean hall and our bathroom

vacuum whole house

dust living room

clean dining room

clean kitchen

clean out and clean the refrig

eat lunch

clean stove

wash dishes by hand because the dishwasher isn't working well

go through junk mail

Yes, all of this is done and I feel so much better. Now the true to test is to keep it up!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Out of Place?

Do you ever feel out of placed?

I have been feeling this way for a while and I am not sure what to do to get back. If you aren't sure what I am talking about let me try to explain. I just can't find where I belong, I feel lost, I feel like I am in the way.

Goals

I know that y'all are probably tired of reading about my weight loss struggles. So if you don't want to here about it, you can skip this post.

I have been going to Weight Watchers for 2 months and I am proud to say that I have lost 8 lbs. I know that it doesn't sound like a lot, but I am proud of what I have accomplished. In those 2 months I didn't gorge myself in Halloween candy, I didn't blow it during Thanksgiving and I went to Texas not overeating.

I have set some short and long term goals for myself.

Short term to lose 3 more pounds before the end of the new year.

Then my next short term goal is to be ??? by Jim and I's anniversary in March 21st. (Sorry I am not yet comfortable telling the whole world)

Long term goal is by my birthday to be at 1?? ! I have decided that when I get to my goal I am going to take all-and I mean all-of my clothes to the Caring Center and I am buying a new wardrobe. I can't tell you the last time I went clothes shopping for myself. I know that it has been at least 3 years ago.

I have never felt this motivated before. I can truly see progress. I have been also keeping a measurement journal and I have lost a couple of inches as well. I am surprise that I am staying on track even though it is holiday time. The one thing I am struggling with is exercise. I just dislike this time of year. I don't like the cold weather and how early it gets dark. I really miss walking at night. I have tried to get up earlier and exercise with the FIRM videos but I can't get out of bed. I hate that this time of year has this control over me.

WARNING TMI

So one more thing I am hoping that comes with this weight loss is my periods. I haven't had a period in a year and a half and that one was induced. I noticed some crapping, so maybe it is on its way! I know I am weird that I get excited when Mother Nature comes calling. I have this crazy fantasy that I will lose this weight and get pregnant. That would be a dream come true.

Well I hope that everyone has a terrific week. And if I don't blog before Christmas, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Cooking?

As many of y'all know I was doing E-Mealz. I did let my subscription go out because with the holidays and me joining Weight Watchers I figured it wouldn't be worth the money until the new year. This week I was trying to figure out my menus for the week and I came up with nothing. A light bulb went off and I decided to go through my old E-Mealz menus and pick out our favorite meals. So I would like to share with you one of our favorites:

Mexican Cass.

1/2 lbs of ground beef cooked

1 C. salsa

1/2 a can of chili beans

8 oz. of sour cream

1 C. of shredded cheddar

tortilla chips

olives

tomatoes

Preheat oven to 350

Crush some chips in the bottom of a 9x9 pan. Cook groud beef add beans, salsa. Spread over chips and then spread the sour cream then olives and tomatoes. Top with cheese. Pop it in the oven for 30 minutes.

This meal feeds 2-3, but if you have little ones it could feed 4 just increase the meat to a pound. I added a can of corn and it was much more filling.

Anyways I hope y'all enjoy the recipe.

Do I have the right words?

Everyone has had so many great blogs lately! They have really been giving me a lot to think about. Chrissy blog about Santa Claus really got me think about how am I going to explain Santa to Bailee. Then I started to think that is the least of my worries.

How am I going to explain adoption and where she came from? I know that we will tell her the truth. That is an absolute! I am not sure how to go about it. I have been told to start talking to her now even though she doesn't understand what I am talking about, so that when she starts understanding I will be comfortable talking to her about it. And I have started doing that. I even made up a song for her that I sing to her every night. There is a line in there that I tell her that she is my angel from above, my one and only love. We have story books about adoption and where she came from and we do read those to her on occasion, but I know that she is going to have more questions than what the book explains. I have talked with other adoptive parent and children of adoption and they have given my great advice, but I am scared. I am scared that Bailee just won't understand and resent/hate her birth parents and or Jim and me.

I know that some of you will say you have nothing to worry about. Bailee loves you and you are her only parents. And I know that y'all mean well. But really no one really knows what she is going to be like or how she is going to react. I pray that Jim and I can find the right words, and that she can find it in her heart to understand why she is with us.

Sleeping

I have noticed something, since I have started on Weight Watchers I have a hard time going to sleep. If you by chance notice my time post it is way past my bed time. I usually go to bed around 9 or 9:30, yes I know that is early to some, but I need at least 8 hours of sleep. I enjoy sleeping mostly because I can remember my dreams. I enjoy waking up and remembering what I had dreamed about and I start to analyze it. I wish I would write them down sometimes, they would make an excellent book. Maybe sometime I will share one of my favorites with y'all. Anyways I am going to try to lay down again and fall asleep.

Strangers at the Diner

I have to drive through downtown to get to the babysitters house. And every morning I always look inside the Diner.

I am not sure why I do this. I think maybe it would be nice to stop in and get a hot breakfast fixed for me or that I am just nosy to see who is there.

Anyways, I notice this one couple, they always sit in the non-smoking section man on the left the woman on the right. They are there every weekday. I wonder if they order the same thing every morning? I wonder what they talk about or if they even need to talk? I wonder what the rest of there day is like? For some reason I am fascinated by this couple.

Sometimes I think what it will be like when Jim and I are older and retired. Will we have "our" table at the Diner. What will our life be like?