My Brother

I got an email the other day from my brother, Kris and I was so excited. You see my brother and I have been through some difficult times, during our teenage years we weren't exactly close. I know that I was extremely jealous of my brother growing up, he was very athletic and everything came easy to him. I on the other hand was like a bull in the china closet.(My dad's favortie comment to descrie me) I felt like I had to work ten times as hard to do anything. I don't know when exactly our relationship had changed, but it has and I am so grateful for that. So here are the things I love about my brother:

1. He is a great son(even though he needs to call mom more often)
2. He is the best father(he did have a great teacher)
3. He is caring and respectful
4. He can talk your ear off until the early morning hours
5. He still kisses me on the cheek
6. He makes a mean steak and brisket
7. He is creative
8. He is a great uncle
9. He takes care of his family
10. He is my brother

Kris, I love you and I couldn't have asked for a better brother than you.

Movies

I used to merchandise the movies in my previous job, so setting down and watching one was not fun for me. But since I no longer work that job anymore, and that we only get 1 channel on the T.V. I have been turning to movies. Here is a list of some of my favorites, movies that I could watch over and over.

1. Grease
2. Top Gun
3. Steel Magnolia's
4. Beaches
5. Forrest Gump
6. Places in the Heart
7. Pretty Woman
8. Sleepless in Seatle
9. Love Comes Softly (All of the Janette Oke's movies, a wonderful family series)
10. Titanic (Honorable Mention, I wanted ten so I put this one in for Ashley)

Mirror Mirror

The other day a friend and I were walking and this lady drove by, we pulled to the side since we had the kids with us and watched her pass us. I looked at the woman's face, she was frowning I asked my friend who by the way knows everyone in this town, is that her normal facial expression? She said, "Yeah". I was like how sad, to think that this poor woman goes through life with a frown on her face. So last night while I couldn't sleep I was thinking how do people perceive me? And how do I want people to remember me when I am gone? And what can I do to make sure that people see me as I see myself? I know big questions for 2 in the morning. As I layed there with my thoughts I realized the only person I need to asnwer to is God.

Fun Friday

So ever since I knew that I wanted to be a mom, I always wanted to make sure that I created memories for my child, like my mom did. So I came up with "Fun Friday". The rules for "Fun Friday" is that anything goes, a day that Bailee and I do whatever we want. A day where laundry, dishes, a clean house, or any other chores don't have to be done. We can spend this time together or with friends just as long as we are together.

Our first "Fun Friday" was spent with Ashley Redburn and her crew. We flew a kite, blew bubble, and took a long walk. Bailee was taking her nap during the flying the kite and bubbles but she loved the walk. My favorite part of the day was just being with Bailee, good friends and laughing.

I look forward to many more Fun Fridays.

Spring Foward

I know that I haven't blogged in a while, I just don't think I have anything important to say. My mood has not been the best lately. I know that part of my problem is that I am ready for spring to get here. So here is what I am ready for.

I am ready to take walks in the park/springs with Bailee and Jake
I am ready to take a Sunday drive with Jim and Bailee
I am ready for my tulips to come up
I am ready for warmth of the sun on my face
I am ready to have a glass of wine and sit on the front porch with Jim
I am ready to Bar-B-Que
I am ready for the grass to be cut, the smell of fresh cut grass is the best
I am ready to plant my garden
I am ready to do yard work
I am ready to have this garage sale and get rid of stuff
I am ready to see Bailee walk, by the way she is pulling herself up
I am ready to go to the pool and take Bailee swimming for the first time
I am ready to make new memories with my family friends

I am ready for Spring and Summer to get here, please hurry!!!

What is for Dinner?

Okay-some will laugh at me and that is okay laugh, but I have a problem. I don't know what to cook for dinner. I try to plan our meals for the a month and it seems like I get into a rut. I go through all my cookbooks to find new and different meals and then make my grocery list. For some reason it takes me hours to do this. So I found this web-site www.e-mealz.com and it does all work for me. They give you a weekly menu (they have special diet menus like Wieght Watchers, low-carb and low-fat), recipes, and a grocery list with the prices. I know I am paying someone to do this for me, but the price is like $1.25 a week. And then to top it all off I found a coupon on line which reduced it even more. I figured with the time I save and the fact that they plan the meals around what is on sale in the grocery store you pick, I can make up the $1 and change. I just printed out my first 2 weeks and I am excited to go grocery shopping.

How we got to this point

I wish that every adoption is as easy as Bailee's was. I know and have said before how lucky Jim and I are.

We have always tried to get pregnant. I knew that I had PCOS-Poly-cystic ovarian syndrome since I was 16 and that conceiving would be difficult but not impossible. Jim and I married in 1998 and have never ever prevented getting pregnant. In 2000, I had ovarian drilling done with no success. That is when they burn holes in your ovaries and hopefully making it easier for your eggs to release. Well that didn't work for me. So in 2002 we decide to visit a Reproductive Endocrinologist. She did lab work on both of us. Jim had a low sperm count which he took medicine for. I did about 3 rounds of clomid, then we did Artificial Insemination. In 2006 we moved on to IVF. We did one cycle but it was cancelled due to the fact I didn't respond to the meds fast enough. A couple of months later we tried again and got thru the whole cycle, but the weekend before Father's Day we found out I was not pregnant. I was so frustrated, depressed and broke it took every ounce of energy for me to put on a happy face and face the world everyday. And trying to be happy for the people around me that either just had a baby or found out that they are pregnant, I just fought back the tears.

I had received a phone a call one day in June 2007, asking if I would be interested in a part-time job. I wasn't due to fact I needed health insurance. Well one day my boss had put me over the edge, I called Jim and told him I was quiting. I was going to see if that part-time job was available and I was going to take it. The job was there, and they offered health insurance to part-time associates. We had decided to take money out of my IRA and do another cycle of IVF. Well the Saturday after my last day of work I broke my leg. I was supposed to start my new job, which consist of standing 6-7 hours a day. So luckily they kept my job for me and in October I finally started back to work. However the money we had set aside for the IVF was gone. We had to use all of it to cover bills and my health insurance for 4 months.

In January came the call that changed our lives forever. It was a Friday night, Jim was at a Basketball game and I stayed home to watch Friday Night Lights. The phone rang and usually during my show I don't answer it, but I did. It was Jim's Father, he said that his step-daughter is pregnant and wanted to give up the baby. And was wondering if we wanted to adopt it? We did a lot of praying, thinking and talking and we said yes.

We met the birth parents in February 16th. They said that they just can't afford to take care of another child. They already have a little boy. The birth mother told me that she didn't really feel any emotional attachment to the child and she said that it is ours. We were so excited. We found a lawyer and got the ball rolling. And finally on Feb.19th Bailee will officially be ours. We go to court for the last time to get the adoption finalized. The whole adoption has taken exactly a year. After many ups and downs that Jim and I have faced I really don't think I would have changed to much to get to this day.