The Loves of my Life

Farewell!

2010-09-01T16:27:00.004-05:00

After a lot of thought I am leaving the blogging world behind! I love the friendships and the people I have gotten to know and I cherish them all. I have been feeling like I really can't be my true self on here. I have had to censor myself so much that I am not being honest about who I am, feeling very fake. I don't regret those friendships I have made and hope that those people stay in my life. If I don't ever get to talk or see some of you I wish you all the best!

Goodbye.

Update 8-28-2010

2010-08-28T07:56:00.002-05:00

So this week flew by!

Bailee is in love with Mickey Mouse Playhouse! She calls it Mousy Mouse. I have been starting to look at the toy sections for Christmas, to see what to get her. At KMart they have a good selection of MMP items, so I decided it is going to be a Mousy Mouse Christmas! I checked the internet and Bailee came in and saw what I was looking at and started screaming and bull-dozed her way on my lap to see the toys. She got so excited to say the least. So a trip to Toys-R-Us is in my near future!

Last night, Jim and I went to the Salem football game. This is the first Salem game I have ever been to, it was okay, just like any other Friday night game. I can tell he misses coaching!

Today, I am going with some friends to the local Winery's. I am looking forward into going, but I have started a diet last week and I have done so well that I am hoping that I have some will power not to over-indulge. I have slacked big time on my exercising, but I am hoping to get back at it soon! I did stop drinking soda. I have not had a diet coke for over a week, I still miss the fizzy sensation though. So my drink of choice is unsweeten tea.

Well I hope everyone has a great weekend and a great week ahead!

Being an officers wife

2010-08-21T06:44:00.002-05:00

Being a police officers wife or really a wife to any emergency personal is hard and frustrating, but I have excepted this way of life. But there is one thing I can't take anymore!

THE RADIO!

We have to sleep with it on! Most of the time I sleep right through it, no problems! But sometimes I wake up a bazillion times, especially during storms and the someone is on that radio non-stop. And of course, being the noisy person I am I have to listen and find out who got pulled over, who was in an accident or what alarm is going off. And then when no one is talking for 10 minutes I finally start drifting off and bam someone is back on! And they don't speak normal, they speak in numeric code half of the time. And yes after 12 years I finally learn some of the codes, but come on just say yes or no! Do you really need numbers for that? (Those are the ones I get confused on) Then you never find out what happen in the end. I mean did the officer write them a ticket, was there someone hurt in the accident, or did they catch the person sitting off the alarms? Really it is like reading a great mystery novel and the last 2 chapters are missing!

And then when you are trying to have a conversation with him while on duty, you never get there full attention. Which can work in my favor! But most of the time it is frustrating and no he won't turn it down while I am talking to him.

So as you can probably tell I didn't get enough sleep last night and I had to write out my frustration this morning.

8/19/2010

2010-08-19T16:27:00.002-05:00

I didn't realize how long it had been since I last posted? Anyways, it has been pretty uneventful here in Andersonville.

I am excited for some friends of ours. They had a rough couple of months but things are looking up for them. It amazes me how things work out. I am also excited that some of our other friends are going to be in town next month. We haven't seen each other in over a year! I love it when we get together.

My exercising has been on the back burner. I have not been running in over a week. I just can't get myself out of bed. I hope to find my enthusiasm for running again very soon. I know a lot of it has to do with it being so hot. So come on cooler weather! I wanted to go back to WW in July, well it doesn't look like I will be back until the end of Sept. I am just having a hard time justifying the money for a weigh in right now. I really wish there was a gym in town. I would love to join the Centre, but I am not 100% confident that I will go enough every week to get my money out of it. I keep looking for some inspiration, so if anyone has any let me know!

Bailee is doing great! She is talking more and more. She loves Mickey Mouse Playhouse. We have to watch at least two episodes a day if not more. The babysitter is starting to work with the 3-4 year olds on letters, numbers, and shapes. And she has Bailee sit with them and draw and listen. She brought home her paperwork from the week and it made me a little sad, my baby isn't a baby. She loves being called a 'big girl'. I wish we could have another child? But if it doesn't happen we are blessed to have Bailee.

Well that is all I got! I hope that everyone has a great weekend!

Update 8-8

2010-08-08T16:38:00.003-05:00

All I have to say WOW what a week.

I had a rollercoaster of emotions this week. I had such an emotional day Tuesday, I just started talking to someone and started crying my eyes out. Then Wednesday I was fine, nothing bothered me. Then Thursday, was the bus accident. And I cried all day. And today I have been crying off and on all day for various reasons. Poor Jim, he is really tired of the unstable wife thing.

On Saturday, I started cooking breakfast eggs and bacon. And I had had enough! Of my frying pan. Lets just say if you want 2 eggs I have to make 3 because some much sticks to my non-stick pan you end up with 1.5 eggs. So I did research on frying pans and decided that I have to get one today.

So I went to Washington. When I was driving there I started to think of the Band members going down the road and having a great time on the buses, not having a care in the world. I thought about my own experiences with bus trips. I started getting nervous and scared and I started to cry. Those trips for the kids will never be the same.

After 2 hours of deciding which pan I wanted and how much I was willing to pay I finally got one and I love it!

I am sorry that this post is a little all over the place but that is how I am feeling at the moment.

Update 7-30-2010

2010-07-30T23:02:00.001-05:00

I had a great week! Well, anything would be great compared to last week.

Well like I had mention in my last update post, my life change took a huge leap! I got my transcripts back and I have well over the required 60 hours, so I don’t have to take any college courses. I am not exactly sure if I am going to like being in a school for 7-8 hours a day, so I am going to sub to see if the school thing is for me. I have decided that I am going to keep my job that I have now, due to the fact that it covers Bailee and I’s insurance, and it is still a steady income. I am applying for sub jobs in St James and maybe Cuba? We will see.

Jim and I had a date night Tuesday! I really wanted some BBQ, but we ended up at Applebee’s instead. I just really like the steak with the shrimp and cheese on top. I also had an alcoholic beverage, Jim just laughed at me because I was light headed after one drink. We took the back roads home and just talked it exactly what I needed. Husband and wife time!

So I guess the last thing I need to talk about is my running or the lack of. I did run twice this week. I set my alarm for 5:10 every morning but I can’t get out of bed, which is very unusual for me. I am a morning person! Anyways, Sunday is August 1st the beginning of a new month and a new start for me. I found this great idea from another blog. I got a calendar page with a scene of the beach on it and for everyday I exercise I put a sticker on that day. I love this idea, even though it might be a little corny. One because the beach theme calendar page reminds me that the next time I go on a cruise I want to be skinnier than I am now. Two, it is a great way to visualize what I have accomplished for the month. I also found a motivational calendar too that I printed out. I plan on putting one up in the bathroom and kitchen. I also hope to talk to a trainer in the next few weeks? We will have to see how the money situation is on that one.

I hope that everyone has a great weekend! Talk to you soon.

Playing the "Do you know Who I am?" card

2010-07-22T03:38:00.001-05:00

Living in a small town I have noticed several things. One of the major ones is that certain last names have weight in a town. How they got that way I have no idea, I am sure it was all established many, many years ago before I got here. I know that some get it for what they have done for the town, what jobs they might have in the town and others what trouble they have caused.

Being that my husband is now the Chief of Police, this has become a sore subject with me. If I would get pulled over for speeding,which I have and have gotten a ticket recently and let's face it I do have a lead foot at times, I would totally be fine if a police officer pulled me over. They are doing there job. When they pull me over and realize that my husband is there boss, do I expect to get out of the ticket? NO! In fact, my husband has told them if they see me speeding to pull me over and give me a ticket. I would NEVER say, "Do you know who I am?" Police officers are trained to not to profile people, but to stop people for there actions if being unlawful.

Recently, there are new officers in town. They also have no idea who is who in this town and I think that is great! They will and have pulled people over not because who they are, but because they were breaking the law. I applaud them! When certain people get pulled over and use the line,"Do you know who I am?" I think it is great when the officer says, "Nope" and continue on with there job letting them know why they were pulled over. It amazes me that these people think they are above the law. That they can speed through town and then complain about the speeding down main street! Really, I don't get it.

If you think that you are so great that you have to flaunt who you are, shouldn't you be the one to show a good example to other citizens in this town?

Update 7-20-2010

2010-07-20T11:34:00.002-05:00

So not much to report. I did buy me something with the $50 I bought some Scentsy at Chrissy party. I really can't wait to get it.

I have decided to make another life change. I have decided to get out of the retail game and become a Teachers Aide. I have a few hurdles to jump but nothing I can't handle. I don't have the 60 hours so I have to go back to college and get the rest of my hours. I have always had a soft spot for special need kids. So I would love to be an Aide in those classes. I got the ball rolling this week on getting to my goal.

This is a special week of remembrance for me. My dad died 9 years ago. I won't bore you with all the details. I just wish I could have seen his face when he saw Bailee for the first time.

Anyways, on the exercising and healthy front not a great week. I did run last week 4 days and it looks like this week will be 4 days. I skipped this morning. Bailee woke up at 11 and had a 101 temp. By the morning it was normal, but really worried Jim and me.

So that is it!

What would you buy?

2010-07-13T15:28:00.002-05:00

I got some birthday money! And I am not sure what to get? I got $50, I am thinking about getting something just for me, like a outfit or perfume, but then I really could use a new frying pan. So I am taking suggestions? Practical or not?

July 9, 2010

2010-07-09T05:56:00.002-05:00

So another birthday has come and gone. But this year was different for a couple of reasons.

I gave myself a Birthday Party. I asked a couple of friends to go with me to the Blue Beagle in Rolla and for pie afterwards. I haven't been out with friends in a very long time. We had a great time. For those who don't know the Blue Beagle is a paint your own ceramics store. They had some really great pieces, I paints 3 small plates. I wanted to start out small, because I am not an artist. But now I wish I would have done another piece, oh well guess I will be going back. After, we left the BB we went to Slice of Pie. Now for those that aren't in the area, I am sorry. Because you are missing the best pie ever! Thank goodness they didn't run out of French Silk. I really had a great time, sitting there chatting about everything under the sun. And enjoying the company of friends. I really hope that we can do this on a more regular basis.

This year I weigh less than I did last year. This has never ever happen to me. It is a good feeling, however I am still not satisfied and lets face it I never will be. I did run twice this week and I feel pretty good about it. I realized that as much as I hate the act of doing it I so enjoy the after effect it has on me. And the fact the cool shower afterwards is so relaxing. I was going to run this morning but it is raining so I guess I will be back at it Monday. I am excited to say the my husband is starting to run again. I think I finally got to him! About time I was starting to give up. Having him on board keeps me going, because I am not ever going to be the bigger one in this marriage.

Well, I hope that everyone had a great week and has a terrific weekend! By the way, for those who live in town, go to the farmers market and get some Amish sourdough bread. OMG! Jim went last week and got some, he will be going back this week and every week. And you are helping out local people! It is a good thing. (Had a Martha Stewart moment)

July 2-2010

2010-07-02T20:11:00.003-05:00

I know that I haven't posted in a very long time, but I have been on a little R and R. Jim had a conference at the lake, so Bailee, my Mom and I joined him. My mom got her own room, which was great Bailee slept with her the majority of the time. It was great to wake up and take your time getting ready, how I cherished that but I also missed the snuggle time in the morning with my little girl. Mom's room was right across the street from the pool, so we spent 2 days in the pool, so relaxing. Overall, it was a great trip! Can't wait to go next year.

Bailee turned 2!

It truly amazes me that

1. I have a daughter

2. She has really been a easy baby/toddler

3. She is talking so much more just in the past week

4. That I get to be her mom

We went to take the annual Birthday photos, and for a special surprise I got Jim to take a family picture! My husband doesn't like to get his photo taken at all so we were especially excited. And I even got coordinating shirts.(thanks Tina)

I have not run in almost 2 weeks. I do plan on getting back to it on Monday. I can't say that I really missed running, but I miss not being able to eat what I want and having the scale go up! My friend from High School called me today and reminded me that we have a little over a year before my 20 year reunion. So I have to get at it. I just hope that when I start up again that I am not starting totally over, I am so scared that I am not even going to make .5 mile.

I do hope that everyone has a great and safe 4th of July!

After the Race

2010-06-22T06:04:00.003-05:00

So last week, after the race I ran everyday. I ran/jog at least a mile. I took off Saturday and Sunday, Monday came and I got up at my normal time, but I didn't run. All day I felt bad! I felt huge, lazy, insecure, and ugly. So this morning Jake, our dog had to go out at 4:45 this morning, so I let him out and after doing my routine (turning on the computer, checking email, facebook and blogs) I decided that I have to run! No matter what! So I ran my mile. I could so tell that taking an extra day off is not good. While I was running I was thinking, Kim really a half marathon? You are not going to do that! Stop kidding yourself. I have lost my fire. I am hoping that even though I am not fired up, that by running at least a mile each week day I can regain my spark. I hate that I lose interest or start thinking negatively about myself.

On a lighter note, Bailee is turning two! I can't believe it. When you ask her how old is she going to be? She says 2 and tries to get her fingers to show two. I am not having a party for her, I know shocking. Jim and I talked and decided that since we are going to the Lake for 4 days, we can celebrate it there. We plan on taking her to the Waterpark and Miner Mikes (not 100% sure if it age appropriate but we are going to try) We just think that even though every birthday is a huge milestone, we don't have to have a huge party this year. I am truly looking forward to our trip to the lake and spending time with all the people I love. And just getting out of this town!

Good Morning!

2010-06-19T08:52:00.003-05:00

Bailee had a sleep over at Grammies, and I don't exercise on Saturdays so I was able to sleep until 7:00 this morning! I haven't done that in a long time. But I woke up with a stuffy nose. I hate that you have to turn your head constantly all night.

Anyways I have been on a reorganization/ cleaning spree! Last Friday I cleaned zone 1 of the garage, yes my garage got so overwhelming that I had to divide it up in zones. I have 4 zones and I am hoping that I will start zone 3 today. What happen with zone 2, well I need some supplies for it and with funds a little low I have to skip it for now! I also hope to clean Bailee's room, while she is gone. Bailee's room is so bad that Chrissy came over and went in there and started picking it up, I told her to drop the books and back away from the mess. I was a little embarrassed but you know I didn't really care. I am not saying that I want my daughters room to look like a disaster, especially when she gets older. I really need to step it up a notch and teach her how to pick up and put up! I am just having this battle that I am tired of picking up after other adults (did you see how I didn't mention someone's name) I really don't mind somethings, like shoes, keys, sunglasses, or the watch. But I mean really when it is trash throw it away! I even bought a trash can when you step on it the lid comes up for you! Okay enough about that. I was wondering what are your organization/cleaning tips?

What have I done for me lately?

2010-06-17T20:59:00.003-05:00

What I have done for me is, I ran a 5K!

Last Saturday I got up at 4:30 am got ready and Chrissy Adams and I went to St Louis. I won't bore you with all the details, so here are the highlights!

After getting our shirts and pictures taken we headed to the starting line. They block all the runner together so that we can pass through the gate that times us. By the way, technology is truly amazes me. On the racing bib is a thing that looks like double sided tape and that is what tracked us at the start and finish line.

Anyways, back to the starting line, we got there and there was no one that looked like me! I am truly freaking out! On the verge of tears I mean all these people are skinny and are a true runner-then I saw her! She was my target! (Really hope that I don't offend anyone and if I do I am sorry) She was a very curvaceous woman, about my age maybe a little older. I had a goal and that was to beat her. So the race began and I came up on her and passed her and never looked back. My first challenge was complete, I do wish I had remembered her number, but anyways I felt great next challenge the hill!

Chrissy and I trained for this around the neighborhood, no hills, no steep inclines nice and level. Remember, when training add a hill! I had to get up this hill and I did. Last challenge to keep running and don't stop! Okay I did stop running for all of 2 minutes then I saw the finish line. And I ran towards the gate after crossing the gate I was so relieved. Like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I was still alive!

Chrissy and I sat under a tree and drank water and cooled off. I do regret that I didn't experience the true meaning of this day. I was there focusing on running and nothing else. To me accomplishing this was my fight. On Sunday morning I did wake up and watch the highlights of that day, and that is when the emotions of that day hit. All those women fighting Breast Cancer.

The rest of Sunday I was in pain. I felt muscles that I didn't know I had. I did take it very easy Sunday and reflected on my adventure of running. I realize many things. I realize that even though I can jog it isn't the same as running. I realize that I can do better! And be better! I don't want to be a one time race runner that I want to do more. And in doing so I have to raise my minium no more a mile and that is okay. I HAVE TO DO MORE TO GET MORE! My new motto. I have to be the complete package. I can't just do one and not another, I have to do both eating better and exercising. So what am I going to do about this.

As you know I had been going to Weight Watchers, and even though I did lose weight I didn't stay on program. Yes, I am being honest, I didn't keep track no one ever looked at my food journal so I figured if no one sees what I have eaten then did I really eat it? I know pretty stupid, but if you have a weight problem I think you might have an idea what I am saying. So I plan on going back to Weight Watchers first week of July and talking to the leader. And even if I have to pay her extra I have to have her check my food journal, it is the only way I will stay with it and be held accountable. I am also challenging my fellow bloggers and friends, shoot me an email or comment and ask me about it. I realized that the more people ask me about my eating the better I do. I don't think I will get to my birthday goal, and that is okay. But I will be a lot healthier at 37 then I was the past 20 something years.

I also want to thank everyone for your nice comments and encouraging words! You have kept me going and I hope that in a small way I can do the same. I did delete my blog for a while because I didn't feel that I had anything to say, but I realize that I do. Thanks, for listening and caring.

Wordless Wednesday!

2010-05-26T05:58:00.000-05:00

My first Wordless Wednesday entry.

Update 5-25

2010-05-25T07:06:00.002-05:00

I haven't felt inspired to write anything in a while and really I don't now, but I am tired at looking at my old post.

Anyways I did want to update on the running. I have slacked a little, I can't tell you the last time I ran over 2 miles, but I am still running 5 days a week at least a mile. My weight is still up and down but I am not stressing over it. I am still less, a lot less then when I started. I am not obsessed on getting on the scale 10 times a day. I have actually skipped days in weighing myself, which is really huge for me. Today I have a weigh in at WW. I have decided that since I am not following the program 100% that I am going to go every other week. I really love the meetings, it really makes me think about my relationship with food. And it will save some money!

I am thinking about bringing a 5K to St. James, during the Sip 'n Savor? What do y'all think? Some think it is a little contradicting, and I see there point, but I think it would draw more people to the 5K? Let me know your thoughts?

So that is all I have for now. I hope that everyone is doing great and enjoying the start to summer!

The Best Mother's Day Gift

2010-05-06T20:06:00.004-05:00

I know that my husband is not great at getting me gifts and I have accepted that. And I know that this Mother's Day we don't have any money to go get me anything and that is fine. So today when I went to pick up Bailee from the babysitter I was so surprised to receive this. It brought me to tears. You see you can't buy this at a store, so in my eyes it is the best gift ever!

In case you can't read the poem it says:

Sometimes you get discouraged

Because I am so small

And always leave my fingerprints

On furniture and walls

But every day I'm growing

I'll be grown up some day

But all these tiny fingerprints

Will surely fade away.

So here is a final fingerprint

Just so you can recall

Exactly how my fingers looked

When I was very small.

Toy Story 3 preview

2010-04-27T14:29:00.003-05:00

I know two post in one day! But I saw

and I am so excited that it is almost here! The first movie that Jim and I watched was Toy Story at my apartment. Man that seems like forever ago. Anyways I thought y'all would enjoy watching this clip.

Milestone Reached

2010-04-27T12:49:00.003-05:00

When I started on my losing weight kick, it wasn't only about my weight I wanted to teach and show Bailee how to eat and be healthier. Well, today I went to my meeting and I have officially completed one of my goals. I wanted to conquer this goal before I went to Texas, but I didn't. Instead of thinking that I had failed I kept on going, knowing that I will get there. I am proud to say that I have officially lost 20 lbs. starting at my heaviest. And I have a 0 in the middle of my number. My ultimate goal is to have a 1 at the beginning of my number by my birthday! And I honestly can't see how I can't achieve it by July!

I am still running, however I have been sick with allergies and haven't run in 5 days. I am hoping to get back to it by the end of the week. The 5k is going to be here before I know it!

Friendships??

2010-04-21T11:00:00.004-05:00

I am having a hard time being someones friend. I know that she is going been going through hard times, but I feel that she is just reaching out to me because of who my husband is and she needs a new person to listen. Now, please don't get me wrong. I don't mind when people wants me to listen to there problems, but don't just contact me only when you have drama in your life. I want to be their friend during the good and bad times. Not just during the bad.

So does this make me a bad person, that I feel this way?

I have had a hard time making friends here in Missouri. And the handful of friends that I do have I cherish! I hope that they know that I would do anything for them.

15 Years as a Missourian

2010-04-18T13:57:00.002-05:00

I can't believe it but 15 years ago today, my mom and I loaded up her car and we drove to Missouri. I was offered a territory in Rolla, Mo. and was truly excited about my new life. And what a life it has turned out to be. I thought I would be in Missouri for 3-4 years and then transfer back to Texas, well it didn't work out that way. I met Jim in 1997 and you know the rest. I believe that I will live the rest of my years here in Missouri. but Texas is where my heart is.

Our first Picture in Blue.

2010-04-11T16:22:00.001-05:00

I had mention in a previous post that it is a tradition to have your picture taken in the Blue Bonnets. So when we where in Texas the flowers were in full bloom. So Bailee and I climbed up the hill of a highway and had our picture taken. I was so excited! I also got some with my nephews. And if I can ever figure this out I will post them as well. It is amazing how much they all 3 look alike.

I Gotta Feeling

2010-04-09T06:38:00.006-05:00

While I was in Texas I kept up with my running! Even though I didn't have my running buddy, I found a new buddy, my Walkman. (Chrissy, it will never replace you!) Bethany sent me 2 CD's of running music, so I downloaded them and some other songs that get me pumped up or inspire me.

So the first morning I was in Texas I got up thinking it was 6:30 when actually it was 5:30, miscounted the ding dongs on the clock, I got my walkman and ran 2 miles. Which I thought was very ambitious of me due to the inclines in my mom's neighborhood. That morning after my run, Tina texted me making sure that I kept up my running! Thanks Tina, you have no idea how much that meant.

There is a song that is by the Black Eyed Peas, "I Gotta Feeling" that gets my blood pumping, I mean I get so pumped up that I start running before I am done with my warm up walk. I love to sing even though I have been asked not to ever do it in public again. I can't help but sing this song at the top of my lungs. I love it and want everyone else to love it too. I find myself almost dancing in the street at times. Do you remember the friends episode that Rachele and Phoebe went running and Phoebe was running all crazy with her arm flinging everywhere, well that is me! Really! I promise you will get a good laugh! I have to listen to that song as soon as I walk out of the door and during my cool down.

I promise pictures of Bailee really soon, I am waiting on some from my SIL. The picture with all the flower, was taken by my cousin and where I am from!

What is happening?

2010-04-07T20:09:00.002-05:00

I wish I had the energy to write something interesting, but I don't. So these are somethings that are going on.

I have been very concerned about some of my friends lately. I have several of them going through personal struggles. I just hope that they know that I am here for them and to listen to them if they need me.

I also have been very stressed out! We are trying to sell our house. And would love to get a contract on it by the end of the month, so that we can take advantage of the tax break. We have been cleaning, decluttering, and fixing things up. We found a house in town that we both love! And if we sell ours by July it was meant to be, I am trying really hard not to get my hopes up. But I really want this house. But if we don't get it, then we are still happy where we are!

I am looking forward to Thursday I am getting my hair done. I have decided that I am getting a perm. I haven't had one in years. I am really excited!

I am also getting things ready for a yard sale on Saturday. It is that time of year again. I really don't think I will have much out mostly clothes that Bailee has out grown.

I am still running almost everyday, but I haven't been running as long as I probably should. I really need to kick it up a notch.

Bailee is finally out of the stage, where I thought I had the devil child. She is so lovable! And I hope that she stays that way.

So that is about all that is going on in my world. So until next time...

Going to the Airport

2010-04-03T06:12:00.003-05:00

Well, my friends I am back from Texas and I am proud to say that I didn't lose Bailee in the airport! I had a great time in Texas and I think Bailee did too.

So as many of y'all know that I have this fear of losing Bailee. And I went back and forth about driving and flying because of it. I decided to fly due to pressures from my mom and Jim's mom.

Jim took Bailee and I to the airport, that way he had the car while I was gone and I didn't have to luge my luggage and Bailee from long-term parking to the terminal. Our plane took off around 4:30 in the afternoon, which I thought great, she can take a nap while we drive to the airport and she will be a well rested happy little girl! Nope she didn't sleep at all.

Jim dropped us off at the terminal and we are off on our adventure. I took a deep breathe and said to myself I can do this. I get to the doors with two suit cases, Bailee and my purse. Oh wait my phone! Luckily Jim saw before he left, so I left my bags in the door way and ran back to get my phone. Okay, back to my bags before the bomb sniffing dogs are called in. I did another check Bailee, 2 suitcases, and my purse! Great, now to the ticket line to get Bailee's ticket. I had to bring her birth-certificate with me to prove her age so she could fly free.

While I am in line I notice this woman with a bag that has a dog in it. Bailee loves animals, really she hugs, pets, and kisses them! I could see the dog but couldn't tell what kind of dog it was, and tried to show Bailee but I don't think she really saw it. Then all of a sudden a man is behind me taps me on the arm and starts going on and on about how beautiful my daughter is. And saying that "mom you are going to have your hands full, what are you going to do when she gets older"I mean this man kept saying this over and over, and I don't get creeped out very often, but he really scared me. I finally get called up to get our tickets and we are off! (Praying that the guy behind me is not going where I am going!)

Bailee and I get in line to go through security and this is where I kind of get anxious. I had lost a wallet once in the security section before. I took off my and Bailee's shoes and put everything in the tub. I put on the monkey backpack that has a long tail so that she can walk and I still have a hold on her. (Let me tell ya, that was the biggest life saver for me. Thanks Ashley!) We find our gate and the lady that had the dog in the bag in the ticket line was at our gate. So I took Bailee there to see the dog, she hugged, petted, and kissed the dog until we had to get in line. Bailee at this point had done great. No meltdowns! I am feeling pretty confident at this point. And then it happen!

A lady had gotten off the plane that we where going to get on and she had a seeing eye dog. Well Bailee saw this golden retriever and wanted that dog! I picked her up and she started to have the biggest fit I had every seen. She started hitting me, screaming, and finally wiggled out of my arms to threw herself on the ground. All the while, everyone else that is getting on the plane with us is staring. (Thinking great, a screaming kid for 3 hours!) But as soon as they called for the pre-boarders she had calmed down. And was great the rest of the trip. Bailee loved flying and her ears didn't bother her at all. We had to change planes in Dallas, which was great, gave Bailee a chance to walk for a little while. The trip from Dallas to San Antonio is about an hour. Bailee did finally crash 10 minutes before landing.

Happy Anniversary!

2010-03-21T12:56:00.003-05:00

Today I celebrate 12 years with my husband, Jim. And I have to admit this year I feel that our marriage has grown and gotten stronger this year than any other year. And I am sure that going into our 12th year together we will have rough days or weeks, but I know that with everything we have been through we can make it to the other side.

We went to church this morning and it was very emotional. My dear friend, Grandma Wanda wasn't there, but her whole family was. I could only imagine the huge smile that is on Grandma Wanda's face, knowing how proud she would have been seeing everyone there. As some of y'all know that Grandma Wanda was not my grandmother, but my friends Ashley's G-ma. I have always just called her Grandma Wanda. I have so many wonderful memories, words of encouragement from her and laughter. I remember the first time we went to church with Bailee and how she held her. And told me what a great mom I was and how beautiful my family is. We would always sit and talk before church, telling me about her past, the cute things Hunter and Graysen said that week or we just sat there looking at the alter. She has a very special place in my heart. She will be truly missed.

A Lift to my Day

2010-03-18T19:39:00.003-05:00

I have not lost a ton of weight, but I have lost 15lbs. Which you would think I would be in a smaller size? Right?

I was at work and I was thinking about my trip to Texas and how I am in need of some shorts for running and capri pants. So they had some really cute capri pants, so I tried some on. Thinking that I should not have to get anything with a 'W' behind the number, I confidently got the size that I thought I should be. I thought the size I got wasn't unrealistic, I have gotten things in this size before. So I go to the dressing room and to my horror they didn't fit. I could have cried! And I mean the ugly cry! I am still upset about it. I didn't get the capri pants because I couldn't go up in another size, not because I am vain because they don't make them that high in the misses section. I did get some short for running and some shirts. (yes they have a 'W' on the tag)

For those who can walk into any store and pick things off the rack, I am very jealous. I hate the fact that I can't go into Macy's and find things that are stylish and cute in my size. No I have to go to the next floor up! Yes there is a 3rd floor. Have you ever been up there? It is laughable! Really. Next time you go to the mall go to the plus section and try to fine a cute outfit! I dare you!

So I get home, still in a crappy mood and what is in my mail box? A card from Bethany! She sent me 2 CD's so that I have some music to listen to while I run in Texas, since I won't have my running buddy with me! The front of the card says, "Live inspired, Live on your own terms, Live in the moment" I cried when I read those words. Because I feel that I am living all of those things. And a stupid label with numbers is not going to hold me back.

Thank you Bethany! You have no idea how much that card means to me.

My Tuesday Morning.

2010-03-16T12:24:00.005-05:00

Last night, Jim and I kicked Jake(our dog) out of our room last night, because Jake is a bed hog and I wanted to have a good night sleep.

So this morning Jim got in the shower first, because he had to go in early, no big deal it is Tuesday! A little different routine won't hurt? So I finally get in the shower and realized that Jake was in bed with us last night! I know I didn't let him in the room last night so I asked Jim? Nope he didn't either! I yelled at Jim, "Go check on Bailee" I was thinking someone came into our house and kidnapped Bailee ! No, she was in here room sleeping. RELIEVED! Still not sure how Jake got in the room, but whatever?

Tuesday is trash day, so got the trash ready and saw that the neighborhood hoodlum dogs got the neighbors trash strung out everywhere! I was mad! I knew that the neighbors weren't home so they aren't going to pick it up, so I decided that before I leave for work I would at least kick it together as best as I could for the trash men. I finished getting me and Bailee ready. I kept reminding myself don't forget your wallet that is in the computer room. (Had to buy my airplane tickets for my Texas trip because my wallet is ALWAYS in my car!)

So Bailee and I are headed out the door!

phone-check in hand

wallet-check in hand

Coat for Bailee-check on her

Keys-check put in pocket

pen-check put in pocket

money-check put in pocket

Went and put Bailee in the car seat. Oh yeah, be a good neighbor and kick there garbage together for the nice trash men! DONE!

Get the keys from my pocket and off to the babysitters (she lives in Valley View, and for those you don't live here that is about 5 miles from my house)

On the way to the babysitter I look down to find my phone and my wallet, crap! Where did I leave it last? Did I put it on the trunk of the car? No if I did I would have seen it before getting in right? Did I put it on the washer and dryer when putting Bailee's coat on? That is it! That is where it should be, so after dropping Bailee off go back home!

So I go back home and open the door and no wallet or cell phone! Oh shit!!! Yes I said it and own it! I did leave them on the back of my car! Okay no big deal! It is early in the morning and it is rainy and cold so no one is really out and about. I drove up and down our street 10 times before I saw my phone in 3 peices. No problem I need a new phone! Put it back together and it works for the most part. So my wallet must be close. My wallet is a clutch and the clasp is broken so it doesn't shut so all of my coupon and gift cards will probably be tossed out and a little easier to spot. I parked the car and walked up and down Sidney no wallet. I did see a gentleman walking so I got back into the car and asked him if he saw a blue wallet. Nope!

What to do? Go ahead and drive back to the babysitter and see if the wallet stayed on the car when I turned onto 68! Because a wallet can't stay on the car that long. No wallet. Kept driving through town and over the railroad tracks, it couldn't stay on after going over the railroad tracks? No wallet! At this point, I was like I might as well go all the way to the babysitters house I am so close. I turned on DD, which has a 'S' curve and there it was MY WALLET! I couldn't believe it! The only thing that was out of it was the gift cards. And I was able to find them. I was overjoyed!

I just hope that when I was driving through town with my wallet on the back of my car, someone had a really good laugh!

Pump Me Up!

2010-03-10T13:32:00.002-06:00

Okay so I am in need of some suggestions. I need to know what Pumps you up, music that is. I am trying to get some up beat songs to listen to while I run when I am in Texas. I love all types of music, old or new stuff!

I would appreciate any suggestions, so don't be shy!

Texas here we come!

2010-03-08T14:32:00.003-06:00

I have been unusually busy the past couple of weeks. And I really don't remember what I have been busy doing? Oh well, that is life I guess.

I have been going back and forth on my mode of travel to Texas. I was going to fly, but now I am driving. Jim and I have things going on that I really need to be more flexible if I need to return home. However, there are a lot of people out there who aren't happy with my decision. They prefer that I fly. I understand why they feel this way, less likely to get into an accident. But I really enjoy driving. I love listening to the radio and turning it up on my favorite songs and singing at the top of my lungs.

Yes I am taking Bailee with me. We have done a 16 hour car ride with her and she did fine and I am sure that the 13 hour car ride will be the same. I plan on leaving at 3 in the morning that should get me to Oklahoma by the time she would normally get up. And it will be a great time to take a break. And the rest of the trip I am going to wing it.

So the other concern I have is my running. Chrissy and I are officially over the 2 mile mark! And I am worried that when I get to Texas that I won't be as discipline at running like I am now. We are still running 5-6 days a week. So please text me, call me, email me to see if I am getting out there. I am so excited for Chrissy, this weekend she is doing a 5K in Springfield! I know that she is going to do a great job. (You go girl!)

That is about all that I can think of now. I hope that everyone has a great week and enjoy this beautiful weather in Missouri.

Men in Uniforms/Running

2010-03-02T18:20:00.005-06:00

So the elementary school had a benefit at McD's tonight, so Jim called and said he would pick up dinner, even though I had dinner made. (Sorry Chrissy, I only had half of my burger) We try to help out good causes when we can. So Jim goes inside to get our dinner and was approached by a certain someone, I was told by Jim I can't use names, and asked if he was there to arrest someone or make a scene. He said, "No, just coming to get dinner and help out your school" The person was very serious.

Okay this is why I am mad. Just because my husband wears a uniform doesn't mean he is there to make a "scene". He wears a uniform to serve, protect and support our community. The police are not the bad guys! And when it is my husband that puts his neck out for others and then gets treated unkindly it makes me furious. I was thinking that when Bailee is older and Jim isn't able to come home and change his clothes what will people say. And how is this going to effect her. Will she be embarrassed when her father shows up in uniform, because others think he is there to make an arrest. I hope she never feels that way.

I also wanted to update everyone on my progress! Chrissy and I were able to run a 1.5 miles with out stopping. She has a wonderful blog about our accomplishment, please visit it for the details. As many of you know I am not the picture of perfect health, but I am getting out there and doing it. I must admit that running is not really my favorite thing to do at 6 am in 10 degree weather, but the feeling that I get after I am done is so worth it. If you are on the fence about getting out there and exercising please jump over the fence and do it. You might not get the warm fuzzy good for you feeling at first, but give it about 2 weeks and your body and mind will change.

Wishing everyone a great and safe weekend.

Frustration!

2010-02-26T05:39:00.002-06:00

Sometime I hate email, Face Book, chatting or this type of communication. Because I don't think people truly hear how your message is supposed to be heard. They can't hear the tone that the message is to be intended. I just hope that others realize that sometimes our written word come across a lot harsher than we intend it to be. And for this I am sorry.

I hope that I didn't screw up a old/new friendship.

One liners!

2010-02-20T01:52:00.003-06:00

Most of y'all know my husband. He is pretty much on the quiet side. But every now and then he comes up with these one liners that make me laugh so hard. For those who don't know him, he has a manly man attitude.

So we have been watching the Olympics. Jim has really got into them. But he doesn't like Men's or Couples Figure Skating. He thinks it is just not right, if you catch my drift.

So last night the announcer guy says,"Couples Ice Dancing in 10 minutes."

Jim responds with "Great I feel my period coming on!"

I apologize if anyone is offend by this, but I busted out laughing and laughed for the rest of the night. I love this side of my husband and I wish it would come out more often.

And please if you see him around PLEASE don't say anything. He will never ever let me blog again!

Best Workout So Far

2010-02-16T18:09:00.004-06:00

After taking off Saturday and Sunday, Chrissy and I went running Monday and only got through 2 laps, I was hurting so much that I so wanted to give up on this insane idea of running in a 5K. I have been really struggling with the pain in my calves when I am running. I have researched, talked and watched video about my problem. And everything that I read said that I needed to stretch more. Well I don't like to stretch, so in the mornings I would stretch about 2-3 minutes. (Obviously not enough time)

We decided that we would run on Tuesday in the afternoon, which I was really happy about because that meant I could sleep until 6:30! So I went on with my day as normal. Work a little, Weight Watchers meeting(weigh in was not good), work some more and then home. So around 3:30ish I get a text asking if I really wanted to go? I really did, but I am so tired of the cold and wind that it makes me really not want to go out. But I did! I decided that I would do two laps before Chrissy could come out. So when I was done with the two laps I went to Chrissy's house to wait and while I was there I stretched for like a good 5 maybe 10 minutes. And man I felt like a new woman! I had NO PAIN in my calves. I was so happy and excited. Being able to run with no pain is wonderful. I now need to concentrate on getting my endurance up!

While running the famous "running neighbor" was out running and he talked to us. I think he was really excited to see us out there, and we were excited to run with him. Even though he mention about his brother or brother in-law that started running at the age of 50ish and died because he had clogged arteries. Just a FYI: If I do die while or because I am running please don't say 'told you so'. I am proud that I am getting out there and at least doing it and if I do pass at least I was trying to be healthier.

Anyways it was such a fantastic feeling, I just had to share!

Update

2010-02-12T06:01:00.006-06:00

I have been doing really bad on my weight loss journey. I just watched You Tube and someone had a quote "Fail to Plan=Plan to Fail" I have not been keeping track like I should. And I know that tracking is the key to my success. Last Tuesday there wasn't a weigh in because of the weather, I didn't realize how much I enjoy and get inspired by my meetings. I am hoping that since holidays, Super Bowel(aka cheese dip, snack foods day), and Valentines Day(have to have Chocolate Covered Strawberries) is over I won't be distracted and get back into my routine. I love routine!

I have been running though at least 4 days if not more a week. I would love to say that I have been enjoying the running more, but my calves won't let me. I do love the feeling after I am done. I am really trying hard to work through the pain. I have stretched and put Ben Gay on them (sorry Chrissy) but nothing helps. I am hoping that with the weather getting warmer that it might help, wishful thinking I am sure, but it keeps me going. I realize that June is going to be here before I know it and I just don't feel ready. I worst fear was to be last, now it is not being able to finish. I don't want to disappoint anyone and I am so afraid that I will.

I haven't talked about Bailee lately. A special day is coming up Feb. 19th. It will be a year since we went to court for Finalization of Adoption. I don't think we will ever make this date as a day of celebrating, but a day of remembrance of all we went through before and after we had Bailee. Because without going through disappointing fertility treatments we would never had Bailee. Bailee is doing great! She is really talking and trying to say new words. It is funny, how mothers know exactly what there child is saying and others look at the mom for the interpretation. Bailee loves to brush her teeth, more like she likes the taste of the toddler toothpaste, anyways the way she says brush comes out more like someone is clearing there throat than brush. But I know exactly what she wants. I so need to video tape it. She has also gotten a temper. We go to time out at least twice between 4-7 p.m. Bailee and I are going to Texas in March, and I have decided to fly with her. I am super nervous about this. But I will get through it.

A Cure for the Winter Blues

2010-02-08T19:50:00.004-06:00

Yes, I have the Winter Blues.

I am tired of the wet, sloppy, muddy ground.

I am tired of the being cold.

I am tired of putting on jackets. (Really hate adding on extra bulk to my bulk that I already have)

I am tired of not seeing the sun.

I am tired of not seeing green grass.

I am tired of it being dark at 5-6.

I am tired of being tired.

I really don't like feeling this way. I am a happy person, but when it comes to this time of year, I am not a person you want to be around. The only thing that is getting me up in the mornings is my running partner Chrissy. (Really proud that I was able to link her page, that is a first for me)

I do want to let y'all know how much Chrissy has helped me over the past month. (I can't believe that it has been a month) I am dealing with a lot of pain in my calves. I don't have shin splits, but my muscles hurt so bad that I feel that they are going to explode during my run. And even though I am struggling I keep going, because of her. When we are running I look over at her and think she is doing a great job, looks like she has been doing this forever. She looks confident, and that she is enjoying it. I want to feel and look like that. I know that she can go a lot faster than what I am going, and even though I tell her if she needs to go faster to go, she doesn't. She is staying by my side. I can't tell you how that encourages me. Knowing that she is staying by my side makes me want to not give up on me or on her. And if she does want to go ahead of me, she can count on me cheering for her and yelling at her not to stop.

Chrissy, I hope that when the day of the race comes that I will be able to keep up with you and if not I am not going to give up because I know that you will be there waiting for me at the finish line.

Yes, I am doing a 5K

2010-01-29T12:45:00.003-06:00

Some of y'all might know that I am training with Chrissy to do a 5K this June. I haven't told anyone in my family that I am doing this. I have told some of my work friends, and lets just say the response to me doing this is what I kind of expected. I mean really look at me I don't scream "runner" They look at me in disbelief or chuckle, I had one "friend" tell me to be careful because people fall over and have heart attacks or worse die.

Okay I know that she means well and is probably concern about my well-being, but I wish she would have kept her opinion to herself. And I am one that lets things roll off her back. But this bothered me.

I haven't told my family, really my mom, because I want to surprise them. I know when I go home in March I will hopefully lost some more weight but not enough for them to get to excited about. I just want to say in a casual conversation, Oh yeah by the way I just ran a 5K race.

I am really proud of Chrissy and me. We train 5-6 days a week. I love our signals, we put on our front porch lights on to let the other know 'I coming' I try to get up at 5:30 to wake up and get going, but when I get up I am thinking how much I don't want to. And after we go 2 miles I feel so great! And yes it is very very cold at 6 am. I couldn't go to sleep one night because that morning run was so great that I was thinking about getting a membership to the Centre or a personal trainer. I can't afford one right now but it if I could I am going to do it.

So I am all about rewarding myself for the accomplishment. I have been thinking what could I get? Well I found the perfect thing, it is a running shoe charm. And I can have it engraved, which I will probably put the date and 5K on it. It will be my first charm that I get to put on my bracelet. I am super excited! Crazy that I charm makes me gittie, but it is more about the accomplishment. I have not accomplished a lot in my life, so this is a very personal. I want to show myself and other that I can do this.

Creating Memories

2010-01-28T14:43:00.003-06:00

As some of y'all might remember I had an Easter Egg tree last year. And I will be doing another one this year. My mom had always made them when my brother and I were little and I have vivid memories of that. I want to do the same for Bailee. I am not going to go crazy and decorate the whole house for every season or holiday, but I want Bailee to remember that for Easter mom and I made the tree.

So I have been thinking about Valentine's Day. I didn't want to do a whole lot but a little something that would last the whole month of February. I remember a magazine article with this idea and thought, I can so do that! And I did! The article was for Easter and they used jellybeans, so I thought I would do one with candy hearts. I plan on getting something for then inside vase, Wal-Mart had some really cute lollipops. I wasn't going to use candy hearts at first, because I don't like them. I was going to get Hershy's Kisses or Valentine M&M's, but a wise friend reminded me that I would eat them and have nothing in there when Valentine's Day actually came. I knew she was right.

I just hope that when Bailee becomes a mom, she can look back and remember the little things I did.

36-Interesting Things About Me

2010-01-23T07:09:00.005-06:00

Okay since reading Tina's blog I thought it would be fun. And that I will be 37 this year I better get it done now, because I don't know if there is 36 interesting things about me, but I will try.

1. I called my mom to tell her that I was skipping school and going to the lake and taking the wine coolers from the frig.

2. I have never been drunk, I usually fall asleep!

3. My nicknames in high school-Steven Tyler (because I can scream really high and loud) Vorpahl, Vorpool, Vortex (any variations from my last name)

4. My husband was my first

5. I love going on cruises for vacation or Vegas!

6. I had a killer tan when I was in high school.

7. I drove a 1984 Monte Carlo with mud flaps.

8. I have never had the flu.

9. I told the owner of Schliterbahn that he could not go into the park without an arm band, hey I was just doing my job. By the way, got in trouble for that one.

10. Rode the elevator with Carrot Top.

11. Been on Daryl Singletary's Bus

12. Terrified of umbrellas and fishing poles

13. Terrified of being stung by a bee or wasp (never been stung before)

14. Never ever smoked anything ever!

15. I loved being in High School

16. I have never lost my voice, every Saturday morning friends would call and see if I still had a voice after screaming through an entire football game.

17. Never shot a gun before. (Which is really amazing if you knew my family)

18. I love road trips from the planning to the actual trip.

19. I am never late.

20. I love anything chocolate

21. I have a speeding problem

22. I hate conflict.

23. I love my job and schedule

24. My favorite show are: Friends, Little House on the Praire, The Cosby Show, Friday Night Lights

25 All time favorite movie: GREASE

26. I would love to go to New York City, with lots of money and go clothes shopping-oh and be a size 12-14

27. I can't do a cartwheel, never could.

28. Can't drive a stick

29. I can't cry at funerals-ever since my dad died and people are older than he was I have a hard time shedding a tear

30. I adore my mom and my grandmother

31. I make great nachos

32. I love going two stepping and actually dancing

33. My first concert was in the fifth grade and I saw Alabama.

34. I twirled fire during a half-time show and no I didn't catch the football field on fire

35. I fell down a mountain in Colorado on my face!

36. I am grateful that I put this list together and will probably never do another. So enjoy and if you have questions or comments post them.

I hope that everyone has a great weekend! And how many more days until spring?

If you know me!

2010-01-21T11:54:00.003-06:00

If you know me, you would know what my favorite flower is?

Tulips!

I love them! They just have a way of making me happy and smile.

If you know me, you would know that I don't buy cut flowers, because I think it is a waste of money!

So guess what I did today! I bought myself some Tulips. I had just gotten my hair done and I drove by Lisa's Flower Shop and thought you need a pick me up. So I went in and asked if she had any tulips and I bought all that she had. I went and put them in the vase and I can smell how close spring is.

By the way if you know me that is my favorite season.

What would you grab?

2010-01-19T14:51:00.004-06:00

If your home caught on fire and you could only grab one thing (knowing that your children and husband are out of the house) what would you grab?

I would grab the quilt that my grandmother made me. When we found out that I would be moving to Missouri she started making it. I had picked out the fabric and she did the rest by hand. She hand stitched every detail. I love this quilt! It is so beautiful. And when I am feeling a little homesick I will wrap myself in it and think about all the wonderful times I have shared with my grandmother-Nanny. I strive to be like her everyday. She has battled so much and she keeps on going. When I go to visit we can sit and just talk about anything. I love her so much.

Jealous

2010-01-19T13:58:00.003-06:00

Do you ever look at pictures on Facebook or on a blog and think man they have it together! Or how can they afford that house. I recently became friends with my second cousin and I was looking at her pictures and I was a little jealous. She has a big, beautiful home and 3 cute kids. Please don't get me wrong I am grateful for my home and family, but when you see others with more it really makes me feel like I don't have it together. I don't have my dream house or the 2 kids that I want. Now, I know that possibility of me having another child is very slim and getting my dream home is not going to happen anytime soon. So why do I feel this way? Why can't I be content with what I do have? Am I just not happy with myself or is it the material things in life that desire? I sit here and think that I need to be thankful and improve what I have. I have a vision of what I want my house to look like, but we just don't have the money right now to do the things I want. We are in the process of paying off 2 credit cards, 2 school loans, a car and both of our moms. Which I figured it out will take at least 2-3 years. Why couldn't I have started this getting out of debt thing earlier in life? For those that are just starting out in adulthood please don't go in debt, it is so not worth it!

Important Info for those in Saint James

2010-01-16T09:25:00.002-06:00

Jim has started an alert system for the city of Saint James. You can sign up to get email or text alerts when something is going on in town-traffic, community, street closing and weather alerts.

Please go to http://www.nixle.com/

Enter the city name (you will need to spell out St.)

Then in the right hand corner is sign up now.

Click in it and fill out the info. make sure that you read the info below the I Accept.

Also make sure that after you sign up go under setting there might be some stuff you don't want like Homeland info etc. And go under account, I had to change my timezone.

He would really appreciate if you would sign up and pass the information along to family members and friends.

Jim

This time of year

2010-01-09T20:38:00.003-06:00

This time of year I usually start cleaning out the office. Meaning I go through paperwork and reorganizing my files and get ready for taxes. This year was no different, however I wanted to move the full size bed out of Bailee's room and put it in the computer room. In doing so I had to get rid of the file cabinet, it is just a 2 drawer cabinet but with everything else in the room it had to go so that the bed would fit. I was pleasantly surprised that our desk had a drawer that you can hang files in, but I had to clean out that drawer that is full of paperwork. Have I mention that I hate filing paperwork? Anyways, 3 hours later and I am done. I got all the paper work that was in the file cabinet condense to one drawer. Jim even went through some of his stuff and actually got rid of some. And Jim moved the bed into the room. We also moved Bailee's crib and now I just have to wait for our toy box. I love the feeling of accomplishment. I also love the fact that we have a guest room now, well sort of. I wish that we could move the computer and desk out of the room, but there is no where else to put it. I finally feel like I am getting my house the way I want my home to be.

What is your Crutch?

2010-01-06T12:36:00.002-06:00

I was watching T.V. and I commercial came on about medicine to quit smoking. And they talked about how smoking was her crutch. It got me to thinking, we all have crutches. Don't we?

I mean we all lean on something that is not the best for us and we know things we should do it in moderation, but it makes us feel good. Examples-Overeating, drinking, smoking, too much computer/TV, too much soda, etc...And yes I know that some of these things are very harmful, but my point is this. If we get rid of an addicting behavior how do we stop from gaining another?

If anyone has an opinion or comment I would love to hear them.

Sorry if this post is poorly written.

Secret Shopping

2010-01-03T15:04:00.002-06:00

I do secret shopping. I am sure that some of y'all have heard about it, but think it is too good to be true. Well, it is true, I get paid to go to McDs!

I do a lot of retail merchandising jobs and I happen to find this company that list secret shopper jobs. I figured I don't have anything to lose, so I applied. The jobs are mostly for McDs and some Panera Bread. They have some store retail jobs but usually not in my area. They pay you for going to the store and pay for some of your purchases. They give you a limit or tell you what you have to order. All you have to do is report back on your experience. And if you wait long enough and no on else has picked up a job they offer more money for you to go. Yes I got paid $20 to go to McDs in Owensville plus I got 2 breakfast paid for. This job is great for me, because I go to so many different towns in the area for my 'real' job that it is worth it. It gives me a little extra blow money. I have cut back on doing secret shopper jobs for a while but I do try to fit them in when I can.

If anyone would like information about this company, please let me know I would love to pass it on!

Welcome 2010!

2010-01-02T11:58:00.003-06:00

This last week Jim went to a Blues game which I wasn't to crazy about him going, because our house is falling apart. Before he left I told him that this weekend he has to stay home, not go into the office and work on this house. He agreed and told me to make him a To Do List. (BIG mistake on his part) So 2 pages later he has his list.

As usual Jim worked New Year's Eve night. So I went to bed around 10. He got home really late, so I decided that Bailee and I are going to Washington. I figured he could sleep in and at least start on the list. The biggest To Do was to fix our back door. For some reason the door knob was stuck and he had to take the door completely off the hinges. I knew having Bailee and me there would not be a good thing. We went to Target and Kohl's. I got the new Wii Fit Plus game. And other stuff clothes, hairspray, etc. When I got home he had 4 things completed! I was just hoping for 2 things. We have been working on the rest of the list today. Which makes me so happy! I love marking things off. Speaking of marking things off I bought magnetic Weekly To Do List tablet. I have cleaned off my counter top and thrown away tons of stuff. I really feel sorry for the garbage man, you know that everyone reorangize and throw stuff out during the coldest part of the year.

Anyways here is my To Do List for 2010:

1. Keep going to Weight Watchers.

2. Keep working on our debt! We are so close

3. Start training for the 5K in June! Yes I am going to do this, even if it kills me.

4. Eat at home more. We have been eating more at home, but I would like to see that we only go out 2-3 times a month and that includes fast food.

5. Make weekly to do list. I know that if I can make the list it gets done!

6. Potty train Bailee! (I am really nervous about this, so any suggestions would be appreciated!)

7. Help Jim get his crap organized!

8. Enjoy outside more! Hopefully we will be getting a fence, which will help out!

9. Buy new clothes!

10. Be a better friend and mom!

End of the Year

2009-12-29T15:04:00.003-06:00

Well I hope that y'all aren't getting sick of my weight loss updates, but here is another...

I had a really bad week. It wasn't that I ate a lot on Christmas day, because Jim was sick so we didn't go anywhere. We stayed home and had snack food all day. Anyways, the rest of the week was really not good. I had to do a secret shopper at McD's, I was carving pizza(Domino's philly cheese steak), and I really didn't care. But I have already paid my membership through February so I was going to go and face the music. I always weigh at home before I go. My scale weighs heavier than the scales at Weight Watchers, which I like. So I hopped on the scale. And I had never leaned over before but for some reason I did this time and to my amazement I am 1 pound away from my New Year's Day goal! I am so excited. I had lost the 2lbs I gained last week + 1 more. Yeah me!

So when I got home from work I went through my pants and started looking for a smaller size to wear. Unfortunately all of the pants that I can get into need buttons. So I guess I will be sewing buttons tonight. I tried on a pair of jeans that I can't tell you the last time I had on and they fit and I am comfortable in them. I am getting rid of all of my pants and jeans that are too big! So there is no going back.

I have started reflecting about the past year. And what a wonderful year it has been. My marriage seems to be more solid then in years past. Our finances are doing great! (Thanks to my mom for getting us the Dave Ramsey book and taking the FPU class) And learning to be happy with what I have. Bailee is terrific and I can't imagine my life or world without her. I looked back at my 2009 To Do List and I actually can check every thing off. I am going to start my 2010 To Do list and I will post it later.

Happy New Year!

My Weigh In

2009-12-22T14:26:00.006-06:00

This week has been so hard for me. I am adjusting too not having my husband around, I haven't kept track of my eating and I have been tired. With all that being said, I really didn't want to go "weigh in" at Weight Watchers. But I am so glad I did!

I gain 2lbs. Which is horrible, I know. But we had a guest speaker today Dane Benton. Some of y'all might know him. Anyways he came and talked to us about his weight loss. I truly got inspired. I looked at his before and after pictures, wow! It was amazing! He looks totally different. This week is going to be hard, I am not going to beat myself if I get off track this week. I also ran into my favorite kiddos today at work. (Caleb, Sweet Sarah, and Gabriele) And tonight Jim and I were suppose to go to a meeting, but it got canceled and I had already got a babysitter. So we are going out tonight. I am really looking forward to that. I received a gift card to Applebee's, thank goodness they have the Weight Watchers menu! So I can start off on the right foot this week.

I am in the process of making my resolutions for 2010! I looked back at the 2009 ones and I think I did a pretty good job in accomplishing most of the them.

I want to wish everyone Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

December 18, 2009

2009-12-18T11:11:00.002-06:00

I wake up at 6 am and go into the office and fire up my work computer. I normally don't work on Fridays, but since Bailee was sick last week I needed to work everyday this week to make up.

I read my email and checked if anyone has blogged. I went got in the shower, talk to Jim about last night since we didn't get to talk last night, and see what he had going on today.

I get ready, get Bailee up. I was trying to get her dressed, and I reached for something and fell off the bed. I yelled for Jim and Bailee starts to cry. I am on the floor laughing and Jim is trying to figure out what is going on. I told him and asked him to get Bailee a sippy cup. Well he couldn't find one that we normally use. So he gives her one with this straw, needless to say Bailee and I don't like it. I am upset because she has 4 sippy cups and I can't find one of them!

I get to the light and realized I don't have my cell phone! I have to have my cell because it is the only place that has my work number to clock in. I drop Bailee off, and go back home. I walk in my house and realized what a freakin' pig sty. I can't find my phone. I asked Jim to call it and it is in our room. I walk in there and see all the laundry that hasn't been done, clothes on the floor that Jim needs to go threw and a bathroom that hasn't been cleaned in a month. I walk out and say to my self "You need to stay home and clean!" But I can't because I need to catch up on work even though I still have 2 weeks to complete 4 stores.

I get back in the car and I have to go get gas. Yes I asked Jim to do this for me last night, but "he forgot". I am pumping gas and realize that if I do go to work I wouldn't be doing a good job because I will be obsessing over my dirty, disorganize and disgusting house. I go pay for the gas inside because I need a diet coke. Get back in my car. And I go home.

I get home and I have accomplished so much and it is not even noon.

To Do List:

Laundry

re-organize and clean Bailee's room

clean hall and our bathroom

vacuum whole house

dust living room

clean dining room

clean kitchen

clean out and clean the refrig

eat lunch

clean stove

wash dishes by hand because the dishwasher isn't working well

go through junk mail

Yes, all of this is done and I feel so much better. Now the true to test is to keep it up!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Out of Place?

2009-12-17T15:05:00.003-06:00

Do you ever feel out of placed?

I have been feeling this way for a while and I am not sure what to do to get back. If you aren't sure what I am talking about let me try to explain. I just can't find where I belong, I feel lost, I feel like I am in the way.

Goals

2009-12-15T19:31:00.002-06:00

I know that y'all are probably tired of reading about my weight loss struggles. So if you don't want to here about it, you can skip this post.

I have been going to Weight Watchers for 2 months and I am proud to say that I have lost 8 lbs. I know that it doesn't sound like a lot, but I am proud of what I have accomplished. In those 2 months I didn't gorge myself in Halloween candy, I didn't blow it during Thanksgiving and I went to Texas not overeating.

I have set some short and long term goals for myself.

Short term to lose 3 more pounds before the end of the new year.

Then my next short term goal is to be ??? by Jim and I's anniversary in March 21st. (Sorry I am not yet comfortable telling the whole world)

Long term goal is by my birthday to be at 1?? ! I have decided that when I get to my goal I am going to take all-and I mean all-of my clothes to the Caring Center and I am buying a new wardrobe. I can't tell you the last time I went clothes shopping for myself. I know that it has been at least 3 years ago.

I have never felt this motivated before. I can truly see progress. I have been also keeping a measurement journal and I have lost a couple of inches as well. I am surprise that I am staying on track even though it is holiday time. The one thing I am struggling with is exercise. I just dislike this time of year. I don't like the cold weather and how early it gets dark. I really miss walking at night. I have tried to get up earlier and exercise with the FIRM videos but I can't get out of bed. I hate that this time of year has this control over me.

WARNING TMI

So one more thing I am hoping that comes with this weight loss is my periods. I haven't had a period in a year and a half and that one was induced. I noticed some crapping, so maybe it is on its way! I know I am weird that I get excited when Mother Nature comes calling. I have this crazy fantasy that I will lose this weight and get pregnant. That would be a dream come true.

Well I hope that everyone has a terrific week. And if I don't blog before Christmas, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Cooking?

2009-12-13T16:36:00.003-06:00

As many of y'all know I was doing E-Mealz. I did let my subscription go out because with the holidays and me joining Weight Watchers I figured it wouldn't be worth the money until the new year. This week I was trying to figure out my menus for the week and I came up with nothing. A light bulb went off and I decided to go through my old E-Mealz menus and pick out our favorite meals. So I would like to share with you one of our favorites:

Mexican Cass.

1/2 lbs of ground beef cooked

1 C. salsa

1/2 a can of chili beans

8 oz. of sour cream

1 C. of shredded cheddar

tortilla chips

olives

tomatoes

Preheat oven to 350

Crush some chips in the bottom of a 9x9 pan. Cook groud beef add beans, salsa. Spread over chips and then spread the sour cream then olives and tomatoes. Top with cheese. Pop it in the oven for 30 minutes.

This meal feeds 2-3, but if you have little ones it could feed 4 just increase the meat to a pound. I added a can of corn and it was much more filling.

Anyways I hope y'all enjoy the recipe.

Do I have the right words?

2009-12-12T20:13:00.005-06:00

Everyone has had so many great blogs lately! They have really been giving me a lot to think about. Chrissy blog about Santa Claus really got me think about how am I going to explain Santa to Bailee. Then I started to think that is the least of my worries.

How am I going to explain adoption and where she came from? I know that we will tell her the truth. That is an absolute! I am not sure how to go about it. I have been told to start talking to her now even though she doesn't understand what I am talking about, so that when she starts understanding I will be comfortable talking to her about it. And I have started doing that. I even made up a song for her that I sing to her every night. There is a line in there that I tell her that she is my angel from above, my one and only love. We have story books about adoption and where she came from and we do read those to her on occasion, but I know that she is going to have more questions than what the book explains. I have talked with other adoptive parent and children of adoption and they have given my great advice, but I am scared. I am scared that Bailee just won't understand and resent/hate her birth parents and or Jim and me.

I know that some of you will say you have nothing to worry about. Bailee loves you and you are her only parents. And I know that y'all mean well. But really no one really knows what she is going to be like or how she is going to react. I pray that Jim and I can find the right words, and that she can find it in her heart to understand why she is with us.

Sleeping

2009-12-09T22:44:00.003-06:00

I have noticed something, since I have started on Weight Watchers I have a hard time going to sleep. If you by chance notice my time post it is way past my bed time. I usually go to bed around 9 or 9:30, yes I know that is early to some, but I need at least 8 hours of sleep. I enjoy sleeping mostly because I can remember my dreams. I enjoy waking up and remembering what I had dreamed about and I start to analyze it. I wish I would write them down sometimes, they would make an excellent book. Maybe sometime I will share one of my favorites with y'all. Anyways I am going to try to lay down again and fall asleep.

Strangers at the Diner

2009-12-08T10:20:00.004-06:00

I have to drive through downtown to get to the babysitters house. And every morning I always look inside the Diner.

I am not sure why I do this. I think maybe it would be nice to stop in and get a hot breakfast fixed for me or that I am just nosy to see who is there.

Anyways, I notice this one couple, they always sit in the non-smoking section man on the left the woman on the right. They are there every weekday. I wonder if they order the same thing every morning? I wonder what they talk about or if they even need to talk? I wonder what the rest of there day is like? For some reason I am fascinated by this couple.

Sometimes I think what it will be like when Jim and I are older and retired. Will we have "our" table at the Diner. What will our life be like?

Getting Motivated

2009-12-01T13:53:00.003-06:00

Okay, most of y'all know that Jim has a new job. So that means 7 years of Phelps County stuff is out of my house! I am so excited! I am trying to go threw our "office" and get it all out. All the uniforms, paperwork and somehow we have 3 laptops that don't work. I am trying to get the room organized, again, and cleaned out so that we can take the bed out of Bailee's room and put it in here. So that when my mom comes to visit she has a room to herself and get a toy box for Bailee's room. I have also made a new rule for the house 'NO POLICE WORK IN OUR HOUSE'. This is going to be hard to enforce, but I am going to try to stop it before it gets out of hand.

I have also realized that I want to start sewing again. I know this might be a shock to some people, but I loved sewing. I love looking and feeling fabric. I wish I was better at it. I plan on getting my machine fixed and start a quilt top in January. I realized that I need something to do in the evening after Bailee is asleep. I have about 2-3 hours of down time and I am bored. And when I am bored I graze, which is not good. By the way I didn't lose or gain any weight during the holiday! Yea me!

I hope to have the room completed by this weekend. And no I didn't take any before or after pictures.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-27T06:22:00.002-06:00

I hope that everyone had a good and safe holiday.

Our Thanksgiving was celebrated at Jim's Aunts house in Pierce City, Mo. It took about 3 hours to get there and back. We had a nice visit, but for some reason it didn't feel like Thanksgiving. I don't know if it was the fact it was the first without Jim's Grandfather, me missing my dad, or the weather. I don't know. It just didn't feel like a holiday. The holiday just seemed to pop up this year.

I remember my grandparents always saying when I was a kid how time flies. And being a kid you think right, whatever. But the older I am getting the more that is true.

One of the things I am thankful for are for my friends that I have made in the past year. I have gotten to know so many people this year and it has been great. I am also grateful for is that my friend had another wonderful holiday with her son, that is battling cancer.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Last Blog of Jon and Kate...

2009-11-24T06:14:00.003-06:00

How many of y'all watched Jon and Kate Plus 8 series finale?

I did. I had debated to watch or not, but then I figured I might as well watch it now because you know they will be rerunning it over and over. That is one thing about TLC, just wait a couple of hours and you will see it again.

Anyways my heart went out to Kate or any woman that goes through a mans mid-life crisis. Why do some men have mid-life changes? Were they not honest with who they are at the beginning of the relationship and now realize that they are sick of being something they aren't? Or are they being selfish? Anyway you look at it, it sucks. It is like one day your husband wakes up and your world has literally crumbled. You don't know what to do. You want to fix it with all your heart, but then you are so mad at the same time you just want to hit someone or something. Getting over the anger is so hard and somedays you just don't get over it.

And yes I am sure that there are women out there that have mid-life crisis. But it seems that most of the time the men go through it or that is all you hear about.

When a man and a women decide to have a family, we (meaning the women in the relationship) think that it is a team effort. And you expect your man to be around through the bad and good moments of parenting. When Kate was talking about driving somewhere and looking over at the passenger seat thinking that Jon should be driving, her partner.

Yes Kate was no angel and how she treated Jon wasn't the best, but I still think they could have worked on there relationship a little more than giving up as fast as they did. I think for the kids sake they should have shown that they tried to work on their marriage. I how do you go from renewing your vows to seperation in a year? I don't get that.

I know that divorce happens and I am grateful that my parents stayed together. I learned from them how to deal with the good times and bad and how to work out our problems. And there are issues that can't be overcomed, but you must move on.

What it must be like?

2009-11-21T19:11:00.004-06:00

So today Bailee and I went to a birthday party. And some of the mother's talked about getting pregnant. I have always wonder what it would feel like to have your child inside of you. I believe that being pregnant is a beautiful thing. I have never touched a pregnant belly before. And to be honest I don't want to, because I don't think I could emotionally handle it.

The 'experts' say if woman with PCOS would lose weight and get as close to there ideal weight ovulation is more likely to occur. Not that in the past I hadn't tried, but with the cost of infertility treatments and the stress that I was under weight never came off. I figured the stress level is down because we have Bailee and for the most part we have accepted that our family is complete. But we always talk about how great it would be to have another baby. So if I ended up pregnant it would be absolutely amazing. But if it didn't happen I would be okay.

I also find it fascinating that women are 10 years younger than me with kids older than Bailee. And I wonder what it must be like to be 20 something and knowing your family is complete. And that you have so many wonderful years ahead of you. When Bailee graduates from high school I will in my mid 50's, scary. And I really don't think 50ish is old, but it is still 50. I am not saying that I would changed how my life has turned out, but I wonder what kind of mother I would be if I was younger.

All Over the Place

2009-11-18T05:23:00.002-06:00

I have been at this computer at least 5 times starting a new blog. But I get started then I think do I really have anything to say?

I started blogging about Jim and the thought of his new job. Then I remember that he doesn't like it that I blog about him and he doesn't even read my blogs. However, he finds out what I have written and I don't what to have another 'argument'.

Then I started to talk about our trip to Texas. I realize that there isn't much to say. We drove all day there, saw family, and drove all day back home. By the way I had a great time and it was a beautiful wedding.

Then I thought I should give an update about Weight Watchers. Okay I lost 6 lbs. the first 2 weeks, went to Texas and gain 2 lbs. back. However I am back on track! And very excited to see how much I lose before Thanksgiving. I really enjoy going to the meeting, loving the support.

I started a blog about the holidays. But then I got depressed because my father's birthday falls on Thanksgiving. So this year it is really going hard to say yes I am Thankful, which I am, but I want my Daddy here.

My last blog I tried to write was about. How other lives can change so fast. At church I found out someone had gotten married and I didn't even know there divorce was final. My mouth hit the floor. I was just so surprised!

So there you go 5 blogs in 1. I hope that y'all have a great week and a better weekend. I will be so happy when the sun comes out!

Happy Birthday Sesame Street!

2009-11-16T09:40:00.002-06:00

When I was growing up I remember watching one show and that was Sesame Street. I was so shocked to hear that it turn 40! I didn't realize that it was only 4 years older than I am. I had a Cookie Monster stuff animal, he was my favorite besides Big Bird. I love this show. I am so glad that it is still on, so that Bailee can watch and learn from it. We watch it together everyday that I am off. I think I enjoy it more than she does sometimes. I love how they will take a 'popular' song and change for kids to learn from. I just can't say it enough I love this show and I wish I could go to Sesame Street.

WIW-a New Begining

2009-11-06T06:49:00.004-06:00

Well I am sure that y'all thought I had forgotten or given up my weight loss battle. Think again! I am still fighting. A couple of weeks ago I decided to do Weight Watchers. My mom has been on and off doing the program for years. She has always told me to give it a try, I just couldn't justified paying someone so I could just weigh-in. The program is very simple you can eat whatever you want but with in your points.

So I had a long talk with myself, yes I sat in my room with the door shut and actually talked out loud. (maybe if I get my weight under control I can work on my mental state) I decided that I am going to do it.

So I signed up on the internet and called my mom. She was so excited! She has started back up too. I was getting excited as well. They have meeting in Rolla 4 times a week. I was even more happy when one of the meetings is on Tuesday mornings. I always have to work in Rolla on Tuesdays, so how perfect. Luckily I can leave work and come back when ever I want to. I know that if they had only offered meetings at night I would find a reason not to go.

The first meeting I felt like crap. I have been fighting a sinus infection or something, so I weighed in and stayed for the meeting. I was suppose to stay and talk to get acquianted with the program, but I didn't. I did okay that first week. I did slip up a couple of times and didn't write down what I had eaten, but I got back on the wagon. The second meeting I was really nervous. Did I lose any? Or am I wasting my money. Well I lost 3 pounds, I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but for me and the week I had had, I was very pleased.

I am on week 3 and yesterday I had a bad day. I didn't plan out my meals. I had to make dinner for Jim's meeting. So I went to McD's. And of course while I was in the drive thru and you know who saw me. She texted me and told me she saw me. I felt so bad, and after I whooped down the double with cheese I felt sick. Really sick.

But today is a new day. So you won't see me at McD's the rest of the week. I hope everyone has a great weekend.

"first things first"- I loved this book

2009-10-18T13:49:00.006-05:00

I have a habit when I go to a store with books, I always have to go see what they have. Not that I am this big reader type, I just like to look what is out there. This is probably due to the fact that I stocked and I am still stocking books for a living.

Anyways, a few months back I noticed a book by Kurt Warner. He used to be the quarterback for the Rams. Being that my husband is a huge Rams fan I picked it up. I thought it was another autobiography, but to my surprise it isn't. In the liner notes it says, "First Things First is an intimate, no-holds-barred look at life inside the crazed and chaotic Warner household." From what I have read or seen on T.V. about Kurt Warner he is a class act. He is what every athlete and man should strive to be. So I put the book down and thought maybe one of these days I will get it.

I know that some of y'all have doubts about the library not having current titles, but I love our library. I save a ton of money, not having to buy all the magazines that I like. So every time I go I check out the 'what's new section' and they had the book. So I checked it out. It is about there values and how they raise there children. They have rules, which I agree with most of them.

Rules for Being a Warner Daughter or Son.

1. Everyone has to agree on which strangers’ meal to pay for when dining at a restaurant.(This one I would love to be able to do, but going out to eat is rare treat for us right now, but maybe one day)

2. At dinner, share the favorite part of your day.

3. Hold hands and pray before every meal.

4. After ordering at a restaurant, be able to tell Mom the server’s eye color.

5. Throw away your trash at the movie theater and stack plates for the server at restaurants.

6. Spend one hour at an art museum when on the road.

7. Hold hands with a sibling for 10 minutes if you can’t get along.

8. If you can’t get along holding hands, sit cheek to cheek. (If you can’t get along cheek to cheek, then it’s lips to lips!)

I know that some of y'all aren't big reader but really this book is an easy read, it took me 3 days and I am a slow reader. I plan on buying the book so I can refer back to it. If you do read it I would love to hear what y'all have to say. And hear your opinions about some of there rules.

Texas Culture Lesson Part 2

2009-10-18T08:14:00.003-05:00

So someone wanted to learn more about Texas. So here is some more things about Texas that I didn't realize was just a Texas thing.

In Texas there are exits every mile or 1/2 mile. Not like here in Missouri were if you miss an exit you have to drive 5 miles to the next one to turn around. Yes this has happen to me on more than one occasion.

In Texas the queso is a yellow or orange cheese, NOT WHITE. This one is very annoying for me. I can't tell you the type of cheese they use, but it is a thick creamy cheese. I will try to get the info on the kind of cheese it is. But the queso they serve here is a white and watery.

In Texas Friday night is High School Football. The Band plays the fight song before, during and after the game. Unlike STJ I still don't think I have heard the fight song. Hey Tina-can you sing it for me!

In Texas there is a jewelry store called James Avery and they have dangle rings. I had like 5 of them. I haven't seen them here. I love there jewelry I am wanting a charm bracelet from there. They also have beautiful religious jewerly. Check it out! www.jamesavery.com

Hope you enjoyed the info and if you have any other question please let me know. LOL!

My Moment

2009-10-16T12:35:00.002-05:00

I have had a nagging feeling about Bailee's adoption. I have the court orders saying that the adoption was final, sign by the Judge and the clerk, but I still didn't feel like everything was in order. I don't have much confidence that the government would file the paperwork correctly.

I have been trying to get ready for Tax Time, since our computer crashed so went all the documentation of the money we spent for the adoption. So I was going through paperwork and found the Birth Certificate Application. I have always known that I needed to get her Birth Certificate but I thought they would send it to me. Well they didn't. And I have been scared to get it. I am afraid that they would tell me that the adoption was incomplete or something along those lines. But I faced my fear on Wednesday! I went to the Health Dept. and asked for it and they gave it to me. No problems or fear or stress. They said here you go and that is $15. (thank goodness I had some cash on me that day)

As I left the office waiting to get on the elevator I got so emotional. There it was in black and white. Mother-Kimberly Vorpahl of Bailee Grace. Yes, I cried.

I finally have come to peace that she is mine. I have the last document in my hands and no one can tell me differently. I know that there won't be a knock on the door asking us to hand her over or them taking us to jail because we kidnapped her. I am at peace.

Your Lesson about Texas Culture

2009-10-08T07:06:00.002-05:00

This is an example of a Homecoming Mum. This is a normal one they do get bigger, because everything in Texas is BIG! Since one of my blogger friend didn't know what one was I thought I would share it for everyone. In doing some research on the subject I learned that they are a OK and TX thing. I am sorry that I assumed that y'all just don't do this. So I retract that question.

Have a Great Day Everyone!

Questions about Missouri

2009-10-07T20:25:00.004-05:00

Questions that I have had since I moved here.

1. Why don't y'all have Homecoming Mums? {The big mum with streamer and the famous cowbell that every girl wore on Homecoming night?}

2. Why doesn't the band play songs during the game? Like Rockin' Robin?

3. Why are some roads just letters? And if you take A in Phelps County why won't it be the same road in Crawford County?

4. Why don't all schools have air conditioning? When I first moved here I couldn't figure out why they would let school out early in Aug. and Sept. I finally got the courage to ask someone and they told me the schools don't have air. Being from South Texas that is the craziest thing I had ever heard of. I mean it was 1995! No Air!

5. Why do all the roads have to be so curvy?

6. Why is it called the Show-Me state?

Good-bye Old Friend

2009-10-06T18:23:00.004-05:00

Dear Friend

I am sorry that you are gone. We have been friends for 20 years. You have been faithful to me always there making sure I got my day started on time. You where the last thing I listen to every night. You were one of the few things that traveled with me to Missouri. I will miss you! You have grown old with me and it is time for you to retire. I have replaced you with a fancier version, but you will always have a soft place in my heart.

Goodbye,

Kim

A touchy subject...

2009-10-04T20:08:00.003-05:00

It is a special gift to be able to view the world through the eyes of a Child

Unknown

I read this quote the other night and thought about all those children that we won't be able to view the world through there eyes. What would they have looked like, what type of child would have they been or what joy they would have brought to someone. If I had ever gotten pregnant I would never be able to abort a child, but I do feel that there should be a safe place for mothers to go for medical reasons. Bailee could have been one of those children and I Thank God everyday that she is mine. I want to scream from the tallest building and tell these women not to do it. Go through the pregnancy and give that child to a loving home. I am sure it is the hardest thing to do, to give up a child, but I can't imagine the guilt and loss you would have to live with for the rest of your life if you went through the abortion. Adoption is hard as well but the outcome is the greatest reward, you are giving your child an opportunity to live and to experience life.

Life is a precious thing!

New Friends

2009-10-02T20:00:00.003-05:00

Even though I have lived here almost 15 years, I felt like I don't fit in, in this town. I didn't grow up here or around here so I am not in the loop with who is who. I go to the store and people say hello or give me a dirty look because of who my husband is even though I have no clue who they are.

Lately I have been feeling in the loop. I love the fact that my neighbor can call me and ask for milk. Or that I can call another neighbor about an issue with a bill and complain about it. And ask someone to go to Target with me. I haven't felt like this in a very long time. I have not had any close friends since I moved here, until this past couple of years. And I really love and cherish all of these friendships I have gained in the last year. Most of them have come to know more through the blogging world, church and school.

So basically with out getting all mushy, I just want to say thanks for welcoming me into your lives, it means more than you will ever know!

Random Thoughts

2009-09-30T19:45:00.002-05:00

Here are a few thoughts that have been floating in my head

How is Bailee or Jim and I going to do during our drive to Texas?

How I miss living in a big town.

If I will ever get back to Texas for good.

What did I do before Bailee.

I love it when Bailee sees me when I am picking her up at the babysitter.

I wish that we were really close to be out of debt, like 3-4 months close.

When we do get out of debt where are we going to go on our cruise.

Misses a dear friend in Holister, Mo.

Wanting to redo the house-floors, baseboards, doors and paint

I have been praying for a friend and I hope that they get there answer soon.

Wonders why my husband doesn't know where the trash can is located, he has lived here for 10 years.

Doesn't understand why our government is in the red and why is China holding our debt?

Wishing that I could talk to the president

I wonder why I go to bookstores, buy books but when I get home I am not interested in them anymore.

Can't wait for the next "Me, Myself and I" day.

Frustrated that I found a wallet that I like and when I get home the zipper was broke on it

Wonders if anyone really reads my blogs

Hoping that the rest of this year goes by fast

These are just a few thoughts that I have had lately.

WiW on Sunday

2009-09-27T18:40:00.002-05:00

So I didn't blog on WiW because I was embarrased. Last week I was on my 2nd week of my workouts and I didn't workout all the days I was suppose to. I can give every reason why I didn't, but all the excuses don't really matter. Simply put I just didn't do it. I did get up this morning and worked out. I really didn't want to but I did it and feel great. I lost 2 lbs, just 18 more to go!

I would like to thank my friend Chrissy! She said something in passing that I really never thought about. We were talking about T-shirts. And I started thinking that I always wear my husbands XXL. I wear them for the obvious reasons they are big and comfy. And I don't think about how tight or uncomfortable my own shirts are. But I need to have that consent reminder that my clothes are uncomfortable and tight. So no more XXL shirts for me!

The search for the perfect Wallet

2009-09-25T10:18:00.004-05:00

Okay this is the part that I hate about not being able to get what I want when I want it! Thanks Dave Ramesy.

I need a new wallet and I have been looking at them for a month. I went to the Hallmark store about 2 weeks ago and found this wallet that has initials on it. I was like that is the wallet I want. Of course, I didn't have the money at the time. So I knew that I was getting a check from a small job I did that would cover the cost. I left the store thinking Dave would be so proud! So I got the money and went back to the store today.

You probably know what is coming.

Yep they didn't have it anymore. I looked at the letter 'K' and 'A', both were sold out. Now I have to start all over in my wallet search. And of course I know there is not a wallet in town or Rolla that I like because the one that I love is gone and the others don't measure up.

By the way the lady was so nice in telling me that they have a layaway plan after the fact :(

Luckily I am having a Me Myself and I day on Saturday. So the search continues!!

WiW

2009-09-16T06:28:00.002-05:00

Okay I know that I have not posted anything in a couple of weeks. I had some computer issues and then other stuff. Anyways, I wish I had something positive to report but I don't I gain about 5 lbs. in the past couple of days. Yes days! I am pretty upset about it.

But Jim and I watched the Biggest Loser last night and there is a woman who lost her husband and both of her kids, one of them was 2 or 3 weeks old. I sat there and thought this woman Abby, has incredible strength, even though she gain weight she still got out of bed every morning and didn't give up on life. I thought what would I do if today Jim and Bailee were taken from me? Would I be able to get up or just curl up and do nothing. And then I realized I am doing nothing! I haven't suffered the lose of my whole family, so why am I still doing nothing. A couple of months ago I watched a info-mercial on the FIRM Wave. I borrowed the exercise videos my neighbor had that were the FIRM exercise program and really enjoyed them, however doing an hour of cardio I didn't like. I did see results. The Wave is different more like step aerobics. So I saved up for it and I ordered it! Which for me to buy something for myself is very rare. It came in last week. I went over the workout calendar and decided that starting Sunday would be the best day to start. And I did! I used to be a 4 or 5 in the morning person as long as I was going to work not working out. But I am happy to report that I have been sticking with the workout calendar. I have enjoyed getting up early, after I workout I get my pink cup of ice water and watch the sun come up. Side note: If you haven't watched the sun come up lately it is a beautiful thing!

So if you walk by my house at 5 in the morning on S,M,W,TH,F you will see the fat girl not doing nothing.

A question for everyone

2009-09-13T17:59:00.002-05:00

If you had a do over what would you do over?

My do over would be, talking to the birth mother after Bailee was born. The day after Bailee was born I felt a overwhelming need to talk to her, even though some people thought I shouldn't, mainly the social worker. (that is a story in itself) But I just had to tell her what was in my heart. But some of y'all might know that when I get emotional I cry. So I walked into her room and just let it all out and it didn't come out pretty. I cried and tried to get out what I was feeling. I don't regret going in there and talking to her I just wished I could have done it better and I should have written it all out, so I wouldn't have repeated myself so much. But it is what it is.

Do you have a do over?

Questions

2009-09-09T19:27:00.002-05:00

Why do some people get under my skin? Why do I feel that I am competing with them and there lives? Why do I always compare myself to them?

Am I happy with my life? Yes I am very happy with what I have. Would I have changed anything? Nope this is the way my life is suppose to be.

So why do I feel like this with certain people?

Do you ever feel like this? Or is it just me? If you have an answer please share it with me.

It just gets to me...

2009-08-30T11:24:00.002-05:00

I love music! I enjoy singing, even though I am bad at it. Music can put me in such a great mood. I wish I could write music I think it is an amazing talent for those who can. However, there are a handful of songs that when I hear them I break down and cry. And I am talking about the ugly cry! There are two songs that every church sings, 'How Great Thou Art' and 'Amazing Grace' everytime I hear these songs I have an ugly cry moment. One of these songs was played at my Dad's funeral, and hearing it just takes me back to a day I would like to forget. And my Grandmother said that it will be played at her funeral when she passes. Another day I am not looking forward to.

So today at church I read the bullentin and saw the song 'How Great Thou Art' I sat there thinking I can do this. I can sit here and sing this song and not shed a tear. Then it happened...a flood of memories of that day in July. I started to tear up so I left. Jim wasn't with me so I was able to make my escape and I got Bailee and came home. As I drove home I thought about all the great times my Dad and I had. Which made my tears go away. I hope that one day I can set through church and listen to these songs that I do enjoy without crying.

Happy Friday To All!

2009-08-28T05:57:00.002-05:00

I hope that today is the start of a good weekend for everyone.

I have been frustarted this week.

1. Mostly with Jake, the dog. I know that he is getting old, and that I should have more patience with him, and when he is gone I know that I will miss him. I feel that I am not only taking care of one child but two more, really. Bailee loves Jake and always wants to touch him, well Jake doesn't like Bailee or anyone for that matter touching him. When you have food he is your best friend, in your face waiting for you to drop something. He licks everything and everyone. I am tired of the growling, whining, and barking.

2. I want to go shopping!!!!! I want to go to St Louis and spend lots of money, problem we don't have any. I have never been a big shopping person, I love to go to the mall and look more than anything. But lately I have been making list for things I want and what we need. I have a Sam's list, Micheals list and mall list. After making the list I got depressed because I realized I won't be getting any of this stuff for a while.

3. I realize that I am not a good "stay at home" mom. This is very hard to admit. I just get bored staying at home.

By the way I had a good laugh yesterday! You know that we get the St James Press Extra in the mail. Guess who was on the front page, Jim. I laughed so hard because of the title of the article "School will be 'attacked' and Jim, the resource officer, is smiling. If anyone knows my husband the one thing he hates in life is getting his picture taken. So during the board meeting, which he didn't want to go to, he had to explain what the Active Shooter thing was. And after he was done the paper came up and took his picture. He turns to him and says 'Thanks' well everyone started to laugh, so they took another picture and that is the one they printed.

WiW

2009-08-26T06:33:00.002-05:00

I am here to report that I still have 16 lbs to lose. I did walk a couple of times this week. Not much else to say, not feeling very cheery today.

Hoarding

2009-08-22T21:38:00.003-05:00

It is Saturday night and my husband is having a guys night. So I actually get to watch what I want on T.V. I was flipping threw and found a show Hoarding on A&E. At first I was like these people are so lazy, but they are not well. This one woman had a rotten pumkin and as they were removing it with a shovel she was picking out the seeds because she wanted to grow another one like it. I hope that these people get the help they need. Well I know now what I will be doing Sunday after church...cleaning out closests and cabinets.

A first in our marriage.

2009-08-21T20:34:00.005-05:00

For the first time since we have been married Jim is not coaching football. It is kind of weird. No camp, no afterschool practices, no friday night games(that I am required to go to), and no after game get together. I would love to say that I wish he was coaching but I am glad he isn't. Jim never brings home his "cop" work, but football he brought it home everyday. He took the loses so hard and his mood lasted all weekend or until the Rams played. I do enjoy football, but football here is so different than the football I grew up with. I just don't feel the excitement when the players come out and when they play. I do hope the St James Tigers do well this year. I am sure that I will be attending a couple of games, but one difference is that when the game is over it is over.

Weigh in Wednesday

2009-08-18T17:55:00.008-05:00

How did WiW start?

I was inspired by several things. One was my friend Chrissy, she has Measure Me Mondays, I really enjoy reading about her ups and downs and plateaus. It really makes me feel that I am not the only one that struggles in losing weight. The other inspiration is being on Facebook. I went to high school in Texas and since I don't live there anymore I don't run into people that new me back when. But now being on FB I have gotten in touch by so many of my classmates, and with our 20 years class reunion coming up in a year I have gotten very motivated. (Yes I am that old) I have encouraged my best friend to do this with me. So on Wednesdays we get on FB and chat online about how we did or didn't do. We started about a month ago and I have offically lost 5lbs. I have 16lbs. to go. We are meeting at my brothers wedding in November and we plan on celebrating! By having our husbands buy us something. I am thinking earrings. When I reach my goal in November I still have a long way to go to be at my goal weight, but the "experts" say make small goals that you can reach and you will be more successful.

So you are probably wondering what are you doing to lose the weight? Well, I have been exercising, not as regular as I want to but I have been doing it. I have been doing the Firm DVD's they kick it. I really enjoy the weight training and hate cardio. The eating part is the hardest for me. I know what I should and shouldn't eat, but come on like I am never going to have chocolate chip cookies or pizza? I know moderation but that is very hard for me and always will be.

I plan on posting every Wednesday my progress or lack of. If y'all have any suggestions or ideas for a future post let me know.

I Am Back

2009-08-14T12:48:00.002-05:00

I am back to the Blogging world. I had been reading all the blogs the last couple of weeks and realized how much I missed it. I don't think I will be blogging everyday but maybe once a week. Since I have been gone a while, you would think a lot has happen. Well not really.

Bailee is now 1 and has no fear. She climbs on everything and everyone. Jake, our dog, is not real happy except when Bailee has food because she loves it when he eats out of her hand. Bailee is no longer taking a bottle, I packed them all up this weekend. I was a little sad because she is no longer a baby and now is a toddler. I do enjoy every new stage a little more than the last. She finally has 6 teeth, four on the top and two on the bottom. She got them all in 2 weeks.

Jim and I are doing well. Nothing to exciting, just keeping our heads above water. We did finish the Financial Peace University class. We both truly enjoyed the class and if you haven't taken it you should. I know people think it is all about getting out of debt, but it is so much more. You learn what type of insurance you should have, how and what to invest your money in and what documents you should have in case something happens to you. A great class for anyone at any stage in there lives, but the earlier you start the better off you will be.

We are going to Texas in November for my brothers wedding. I am so excited about going. This will be our first road trip with Bailee. When we went to Texas for Christmas last year we took the train and she was on the verge of crawling, so I don't know how she will do in a car for 13+ hours in a car seat. Another fabulous adventure!

I am glad to be back. Talk to you soon.

Goodbye

2009-05-26T23:02:00.002-05:00

I am going to stop blogging. I will delete my blog by the end of the week. Jim and I are trying to save money and we have decided that we need to get rid of the internet. I will still have access but on a very limited basis. I have enjoyed blogging, it has truely helped me get through some tough times and I have been able to share all the joyous time as well. I gotten to know so many of y'all through this and I will continue to read your blogs. I have started a journal again. And I hope that one day Bailee will be able to enjoy reading it, when she gets older, and will understand her mother a little bit better. So keep blogging girls. Talk to you soon

Kim

Calling All STJ Moms

2009-05-25T19:14:00.002-05:00

I have noticed that all of us have been stressed out lately. I was wondering if y'all would like to get together and have a play date for Moms only. Nothing fancy, maybe we can meet at someone's house and bring our favorite stress food. Let me know if this sounds like something y'all might want to do. I would gladly have it my house.

My Inspiration

2009-05-21T20:26:00.004-05:00

I often wonder what inspires people to volunteer or to get behind a cause? My inspiration has come from a 9 year old boy. He inspires me to live each and everyday. When I get down and feel sorry for myself I think of him and his mom. You see he has Brain Cancer to be exact he has Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma. There is no cure.

His mom and I have been the best of friends since elementary school. She and I have been though a lot together. Falls (lol), Loss of Parent, Marriages, Divorce, Children, but not in a million years did we ever think this would happen.

Last month I signed up for Send Love Today. It is an orginaztion that sends cards to children and adults with Brain Cancer. I am also lucky to have a friend, Ashley, to give me ideas and some supplies to make this happen. I know that it is not much, but who doesn't love to get a card in the mail, better than a bill. If you would like to know more about Hunter or any of the other kids or to join Send Love Today please go to http://www.caringbridge.org or www.sendlovetoday.blogspot.com

I would love to hear what inspires you?

Mother's Day

2009-05-05T19:09:00.004-05:00

I have watied a long time to celebrate my first Mother's day. I am honored to be Bailee's mom. But I am reminded of years past.

After a couple of years of marriage, you are going to get the question, When are y'all going to start having a family? When you struggle with infertility you learn to fight back the tears, put on a fake smile and say we are trying. Every year Mother's Day was a reminder that another year has passed and you have failed. In years past Jim and I would go to church and watch all the mom's and dad's get up and have their children dedicated. I would make it half way threw the ceremony and have to excuse myself. I just couldn't understand why not us. Now this year it is us and I am go excited and overjoyed. But I am reminded that there are a lot of wanna-be moms out there, that will be struggling on Sunday. I pray that they have courage and faith.

What a Week

2009-05-03T19:28:00.003-05:00

This has been a very hard week for me. All I can say is that goodness it is over. I know that other mothers have harder weeks than I do, but I am not myself.

Bailee is standing up by herself without needing something to hold on to. She is growing up way too fast. She still doesn't have any teeth. I made her 1 year appt. on July 8, which is my birthday, not really excited about watching my daughter get shots. I think Jimmy will be taking her that day. Bailee also has discovered the bathroom, she enjoys yelling into the bath tub. I guess she likes the echoing.

Pretty boring post sorry about that.

Fun Family Friday 4-24-09

2009-04-25T08:18:00.002-05:00

I know that it has been a while since I have written a blog, but really nothing exciting to report.

I had planned earlier in the week to have Fun Friday, Bailee and I where going to go visit a friend and her new baby and then go to the park and have lunch. Well, Jim tells me Thursday that he has off Friday. So I decided to make FF into Fun Family Friday! Jim wanted to mow the grass and Bailee and I went to visit our friend Tina and her new buddle of joy Owen. After he was done mowing we went outside to help him plant some trees that he got on Earth Day. Bailee crawled in the grass, however I don't think she like the feel of the ground on her legs so she started to do the monster crawl. Then we decided to put up the Rams canopy that I had won last year and to bar-b-que. We invited some friends over and just hung outside the rest of the night. After our friends went home we stayed outside a little bit longer just talking and looking at the stars. I also said a little prayer for my friend in Texas, they had Relay for Life tonight. It was a great day to spend outside. It was a simple FF but one of the best!

Conversations?

2009-04-08T15:02:00.002-05:00

Is the art of having a conversation lost? I feel that we are hiding behind our computers. With blogs, facebook and now twitter does anyone actually go over to someone elses house and just talk? I know that I have hidden behind some of my post and I am really upset with myself about it. I wanted to start blogging to update family and friends about what is going on with Bailee, and somewhere I have lost sight. I know that it is nice to have an outlet to discuss world or personal issues, but I would enjoy talking to someone else, hearing their voice and getting their point of view.

Texas

2009-04-05T19:54:00.002-05:00

Some of y'all might know that I am from the great state of Texas. Here are a few things that I miss:
-hearing George Strait every hour on the radio
-going to Gruene
-going to my Grandparents farm-aka: the country
-going to lunch with Nanny
-going to the rodeo
-the bluebonnets on the side of the road
-picking pecans out of Nanny's yard
-Mexican Food
-my church
-going to Schilliterbahn
-having a tan in the winter
-deer season family reunion
-floating the river
-heat
-the Cotton Eye Joe
-Spurs-the basketball team
-listening to family talk about the old days or about my dad
-my Uncle Al's bar-b-que
-playing horse with Kyle and Brien
-shopping with my mom
-celebrating all holidays with my family
-going out with Michelle and Jon

I am sure that I could be here all night thinking of things I miss these are just a few.

Questions? Do you have the answer?

2009-04-04T20:56:00.005-05:00

1. Why is it so hard for some people to except others for who they are?
2. Why do so many children need a good home? Yet to adopt a child is so hard and expensive?
3. Why are people judging others when they don't know them or care to get to know them or their situation?
4. Why are love ones taken away so early in life?
5. Why do we take people for grant it?

These are questions that have been on my mind for a while. I am trying to accept that some questions in life there are no answers. And right now I am struggling with that.

Garage Sale

2009-04-04T16:05:00.003-05:00

Well, after many years of saying that I need to have a garage sale I actually did it!! One more thing I can mark off my yearly to-do list. The sale was a huge success!! Not only did I sale all of Bailee's clothes I was able to get rid of a lot of other stuff. I also had the privilege meeting Bethany, I have been following her blog for a long time. It was great to actually hear her voice. I love blogging, but one of the draw backs is that you don't know what the person sounds like. I also would like to thank my mom for helping me out with Bailee. I wouldn't have been able to do it without her.

How is it Working

2009-03-29T08:11:00.003-05:00

So I have been doing E-Mealz for about 3 weeks, and I love it!!! It is so easy and the recipes are terrific. We signed up for the family of 2 and we always have leftovers. I actually love going grocery shopping. I have a list and I am sticking to it. I also have time to look for coupons on some of the items which is helpful.

Here is one recipe that we like:

White Barbecue Chicken
6 T. Mayo
1 T salt (I used chicken seasoning salt instead of salt and pepper)
1 t pepper
2 T sugar
3 T vinegar
1/4 C of milk
1lb. of chicken tenders

Combine first 6 ingredients and pour over chicken. Bake at 350 for 35 minutes.

This one is a keeper!!! If you try the recipe let me know how you liked it?

One suggestion I do have is that, if you use the 2 person for a larger family, like a family of 3 or 4 you will need a little more meat.

By the way Wal-Mart had boneless, skinless chicken breast on sale $4.00 saving $1.00. I stocked up. You use a lot of chicken on E-Mealz.

I hope everyone has a great week!!!

Fun Friday 3/20/2009

2009-03-20T14:37:00.005-05:00

This Fun Friday=FF we made a Easter Egg Tree. When I was a little girl I remember my mom always having one. She would blow the eggs and we would dye them. I knew that when I had kids this was the one tradition that I had to keep. So I recruited Hunter and Libby, as Bailee crawled on the floor and we made the egg tree. We had such a great time, and it was educational as well. The kids helped me count how many drops of dye to put in and they practiced on there colors. I also drew some hearts so that when the egg was dyed they would appear and who ever got that egg got to keep it. I had a great time and can't wait to do this next year when Bailee is a little older.

Ashley Redburn

2009-03-18T16:35:00.006-05:00

When I go to work I take Bailee to Ashley Redburn's house. She was the first person, besides family, that I had told about us adopting a child and had asked her if she knew anyone that babysits. She said that she might be interested in doing it? I was totally ecstatic! I knew Ashley through church, we started sitting next to her family when Jim and I started going to First Baptist. I knew that she was a terrific mother and would love my child. So Bailee has been going to Ashley's since she was 4 weeks old. Not only does a terrific job with all the kids she babysits she is also a terrific mom. She always makes sure that her kids get attention while keeping her eyes on 4 other kids. I don't usually have to be at work at a certain time, so I usually stay and chit chat with Ashley. We have some of the most interesting conversations, from what we did that weekend to our views about religion, raising kids, and men. I usually kiss Bailee goodbye, drive off and pray that Ashley has a good day with all the kids.

Ashley not only Bailee's babysitter, she has become a true friend. I love her kids, and her whole family,even Lincoln. I know that if I just need to say something to get off my chest I can say it to her and she won't take offense to it. She might not agree with me, but she respects my opinion. She has taught me so much. Ashley has decided to stop babysitting, which I totally understand her reasons. Even though I give her a hard time about it. I won't be knocking on her door every morning, but we are friends and that we will still hang out.

I just want to thank you for watching Bailee for us. I am truely blessed to have gotten to know you better and to call you friend.

P.S.-I know that I couldn't have said all of this to your face because you wouldn't have understood a word I said, due to all the crying.

My Brother

2009-03-18T04:32:00.003-05:00

I got an email the other day from my brother, Kris and I was so excited. You see my brother and I have been through some difficult times, during our teenage years we weren't exactly close. I know that I was extremely jealous of my brother growing up, he was very athletic and everything came easy to him. I on the other hand was like a bull in the china closet.(My dad's favortie comment to descrie me) I felt like I had to work ten times as hard to do anything. I don't know when exactly our relationship had changed, but it has and I am so grateful for that. So here are the things I love about my brother:

1. He is a great son(even though he needs to call mom more often)
2. He is the best father(he did have a great teacher)
3. He is caring and respectful
4. He can talk your ear off until the early morning hours
5. He still kisses me on the cheek
6. He makes a mean steak and brisket
7. He is creative
8. He is a great uncle
9. He takes care of his family
10. He is my brother

Kris, I love you and I couldn't have asked for a better brother than you.

Movies

2009-03-10T19:28:00.002-05:00

I used to merchandise the movies in my previous job, so setting down and watching one was not fun for me. But since I no longer work that job anymore, and that we only get 1 channel on the T.V. I have been turning to movies. Here is a list of some of my favorites, movies that I could watch over and over.

1. Grease
2. Top Gun
3. Steel Magnolia's
4. Beaches
5. Forrest Gump
6. Places in the Heart
7. Pretty Woman
8. Sleepless in Seatle
9. Love Comes Softly (All of the Janette Oke's movies, a wonderful family series)
10. Titanic (Honorable Mention, I wanted ten so I put this one in for Ashley)

Mirror Mirror

2009-03-07T16:24:00.006-06:00

The other day a friend and I were walking and this lady drove by, we pulled to the side since we had the kids with us and watched her pass us. I looked at the woman's face, she was frowning I asked my friend who by the way knows everyone in this town, is that her normal facial expression? She said, "Yeah". I was like how sad, to think that this poor woman goes through life with a frown on her face. So last night while I couldn't sleep I was thinking how do people perceive me? And how do I want people to remember me when I am gone? And what can I do to make sure that people see me as I see myself? I know big questions for 2 in the morning. As I layed there with my thoughts I realized the only person I need to asnwer to is God.